Akane Hits the Big One
by BiGDeal
Summary: Akane has remarkably good fortune and strikes out on her own, definitely not the dutiful daughter she seems to be
1. Chapter 1

Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: Brain worm struck again and this one looks like I can squeeze it into a one-off item. All the "failed wedding" scenarios seem to focus on Ranma, especially the "Desperately Seeking Ranma" series (main story and prequels) by PixelWriter1. If you're going to tackle that, first read the prequels so you're familiar with the events and characters that lead up to "Desperately..." BTW, TVTROPES has a rundown on the tropes in that story. But, what-the-hey, reading the entire story is a lot more fun as not all of the tropes got listed... Yes, I'm a big fan of the series and am waiting very patiently for the next update, last update May, 2016 - see his blog for details.

Anyway, Akane has remarkably good fortune and strikes out on her own, definitely not the dutiful daughter she seems to be. Sows murder and mayhem (figuratively, that is.)

Akane looked over the cleaned dojo and then bowed to the Butsudan for her mother. "My apologies, Mother, for what I am about to do. I have many faults, the least of which is my temper; but I've decided on what my course must be. Watch over me, please."

Straightening, she looked over to the doorway and saw Kasumi and Happosai, standing in the doorway.

"Is everyone else gone?"

Kasumi smiled. "Everyone except Ranma. Someone dosed him with cold water..." and gently reached over and tapped Happosai on the head. He batted her hand away and smirked.

Akane glared at the old pervert. "OK then, grandfather, YOU go chase down Ranma and POLITELY tell him that you'll show him some new chi techniques. No glomping or sarcastic remarks or SWEETOs, but you all have to be out of here in the next ...", a quick glance at her watch, "two minutes. And don't come back before noon. Wakarimas?"

Happosai pouted. "That's no fun... But then, he'll be expecting me to be doing just that, which not doing anything untoward will annoy and frustrate him to no end of things." He then turned, picked up his washing kit and strolled in the direction of the house, quietly intoning "Raaaanmaaaaaa... Akane says that we have to be gone now or she'll start Hammering Time, on you then me, and we don't want that."

A en-femme Ranma-sized blur howled past the end of the dojo, snagged the free hand of Happosai and dragged him off. "It's because of you that I'm late, MASTER, now you've got Akane mad and I'm not going to take the fall for your pranks AGAIN!"

Akane and Kasumi both stood in the doorway, looking at the pair exiting the property by clearing the wall beside the gate and then rooftopping their way down the street in the direction of the neighbourhood sentō, though it looked more like Happosai was airborne all the time. All they heard was the patter of feet on tiles and Happosai howling "Wheeee!"

Kasumi, picking up her washing kit, looked at Akane.

"You sure...?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I've planned this as a surprise for everyone, INCLUDING YOU. Go. Have a nice soak and come back at noon. No snacking or getting yourself filled up; and that applies to everyone. I'll be providing lunch for everyone."

Kasumi's left eyebrow quirked up as she took an expression of surprise.

"I'm getting it catered and it'll be arriving just about now..." and a truck's air-brakes sounded outside of the gate. "See? They're here and you need to be gone. So, go already!"

Kasumi's expression shifted to her "Smiling Madonna" mode and she walked away, to have Nibiki step in through the gate, looking back at the truck stopped outside. Kasumi slipped her arm through her sister's and gently pulled her along. "Don't ask where the money is coming from, 'Biki-chan. We've been given our orders and we must obey. See you at noon, A-chan!"

Nibiki was making sounds like a motor-boat if you could call it that from the "but-but-but" sounds she was making as she pointed at the name on the truck as Kasumi dragged her down the street.

Akane smiled as she walked over to the gate and opened it wide. "This way, gentlemen and ladies. The dojo is clean and ready for you."

 _ **Several hours pass while the Dojo is prepared. No one gets even a peek until the Big Reveal, and this includes the readers...**_

Everyone returned to the Tendo compound and found Akane sitting in front of the dojo, sipping on a cola drink while people moved rapidly between the kitchen door and the dojo. She bounced up and rocked back and forth on her feet, then looked at everyone with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Ah, we're expecting guests, so I need to have everyone go to your rooms and get dressed in your finest. Actually, I've provided that as well, plus there's people to help you. Don't worry, they're not rentals; they're now yours."

With that, she scooted past them and went over to the gate and talked to the major-domo supervising the ongoing activities.

Kasumi, Nibiki and Nodaka all looked at each and sighed. They then looked at the men, including the now-masculine Ranma, who all shrugged back in return.

"Oh, Ranma!" came Akane's voice from the gate. "Since we're going to have lots of water and cold beverages around, I've anticipated that Ranko will be putting in an appearance. Make sure it happens, okay? I've provided that so don't get all embarrassed, at least not on my account."

Sighing enough to match the ladies, Ranma took his partially-full water bottle and squeezed it into his face, triggering the change and then stomped into the house, muttering. Moments later, a shout rang out from the upstairs guest room, "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME! AKANE!"

Akane shouted back. "DON'T WORRY! IT SUITS YOU. WEAR IT!"

The remaining members of the household all looked at each other, then prodded by a "WELL?" from Akane, headed into the house and their respective rooms.

 _ **Half an hour later, or so...**_

Kasumi looked at Nibiki. Nibiki looked at Kasumi. Neither of them could believe what they were wearing as it was way beyond the yakutas that they'd been wearing to temple festivals and such. The furisode that they were wearing were obviously of extremely fine and expensive silks and fabrics and obviously had been crafted for their dimensions. Definitely not off-the-rack garments.

A door further down the hallway slid back and Nodaka stepped into the hallway. At least they were sure that it might be Nodoka. The big difference was that she was wearing a very formal tomesode and was missing the usual bundled katana or the tanto stuck in her obi. In fact, she looked quite flustered as she had nothing to occupy her hands. She looked up and saw Kasumi and Nibiki staring at her, then realized that they were just as formally dressed.

"Oh, my!" they all went at the same time then giggled. Nodoka came over and joined the other two, bowing slightly. The sisters bowed back.

Another door in the hallway slid back and Akane stepped out, also wearing a beautiful furisode but one that was just a bit "more" than those worn by her sisters, featuring a uchikake with a crane motif in addition to the sky-blue colour scheme. Pushing her door shut, she smiled at them and tripped her way over and gently bowed.

"My helpers have told me that everyone is waiting downstairs or are already in the dojo, and the remaining guests are going to be here momentarily. Shall we join them?"

Nodoka nodded and smiled back. "Pardon my curiosity, but this is all very….. uh…. much for you…."

Akane nodded. "Yes, and all will become clear after lunch has been served."

Nibiki giggled and then covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Next, I suppose that you'll start cackling like Kodachi…."

Akane shook her head gently. "Actually, Kodachi was also invited for lunch, and given strict orders to behave herself. Satsuke is going to keep a close eye on her and has been equipped with a dart gun with enough tranquilizer to put a water buffalo to sleep. Poor Kuno has been told to stay away with pictures of myself and Ranko being promised as a reward for his good behavior. And no, Nibiki, you aren't going to get any copies."

NIbiki sighed. "I guess that you've secured all of my cameras."

"Oh, yes, especially the pinhole ones, as you've already found out. We have a photographer here today, so you need only enjoy yourself and you'll get pictures of everything."

Kasumi hooked her arms through the corresponding ones of her sisters and started down the hallway to the stairs. Nodoka giggled and tottered along after them.

When they reached the dojo, Akane looked around and said "Where's Ranma? And Happosai?"

The question was answered by a shout of "SWEETO!" followed by a feminine scream and then Ranko's raised voice growling, followed by the sound of running feet and then a crash that shook the dojo.

Remarkably, while Akane was the furthest away from the entrance, she was the first into the dojo, clearing everyone who was standing around and shoving Genma and her father to the side as she kicked the closed door off of its track and stepped inside the building, followed by everyone else.

Ranma, or rather Ranko, was standing in front of Happosai, who was jammed against the wall beside her mother's butsudan, with the tanto from the shrine resting on Happosai's throat and the katana held in a ready-to-strike position.

"Come on, old man! Make one move and I'll separate your PERVERTED head from the rest of your PERVERTED little body! By the Kami, I promise. One move! You just couldn't suck it up and behave yourself for one day, could you? You had to grope one of the waiting staff from the caterers! Now the police are going to get called and you know what will happen? Besides you getting a 'time out' at the local police station until you escape and go on some training trip for a couple of months until things cool off, have you given any thought to the impact that this little stunt of yours will have on the School of Anything Goes? Genma and Suon have been busting their butts trying to attract more students, and you pull something like this? You think that any ladies or girls are going to come, even if their lessons are free? Go ahead! Make one move and so help me Kami, I don't care if I soak this kimono in blood, you WILL pay the price!"

Ranko was not only glowing with his battle rage but it had flowed down both blades, making both look even more sharp and deadly.

Akane walked up behind Ranma and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Shhhhhh! It's okay, Ranko. Just settle down and let Happosai breath. It's not worth it. Taking his head will not solve the problems, it'll just make them worse, massively. Come on, settle down…"

Looking over his or rather her shoulder, Ranko whispered, "why are you so calm and collected? Normally, you'd be yelling about me being perverted in addition to Happosai, and waving your chi-mallet around and hitting me."

Akane nodded towards Happosai. "Yeah, but today's different and we, or rather I, don't need it destroyed with the police initiating a murder investigation as well as one for a sexual assault."

Ranko stepped back and lowered the weapons. Pointing the tanto at Happosai, he growled, "Do not give me a reason to regret this, _Grand Master Happosai_. As of right now, I am a hair's-breadth from packing in everything and chucking the whole school, and tendering my resignation by offing your sorry excuse for an ass. Consider that when you're down at the police station."

Stepping further back, he hooked his foot on the sheath for the katana, and flipped it into the air, then sliding the blade into it without really looking at the sword or sheath, releasing the blade and grabbing the sheath, then inserting it through his obi, all in one smooth sequence without even glancing at where the various items were. He then stooped to pick up the tanto's sheath without even glancing at where the sheath was laying and slammed the blade into it and then stuffed that into his obi alongside the katana, all the while glaring at Happosai, who stayed in exactly the same position until Ranma stepped over to the butsudan and placed the blades back into their original positions, then bowed deeply before it.

Happosai relaxed fractionally and then adjusted his neck and swallowed deeply, then bowed towards Akane. "Excuse me, I'll just go over there and wait for the police." He then stepped around Akane and then moved to the back of the dojo, pulled up a cushion and then sat down and went into a meditative posture.

A hand gently came down on Akane's shoulder and she turned to see Ranma looking at her. "I'll go over and check on Happosai's victim and call the police. My cellphone is buried in here somewhere."

Akane stood and watched as Ranma walked off, his battle aura dropping away from him like water from leaves, and really becoming the lady that would be wearing the jūnihitoe kimono if the normal Wrecking Crew craziness hadn't kicked off. Ranma bowed and talked quietly to the young lady groped by Happosai and then to the major domo who was organizing everything. Ranma surreptitiously reached into his sleeve and pulled out a smallish inro and pressed it into the hands of the young lady, who stood up and bowed to Rankjo. Akane made a small smile as she caught sight of the netsuke hanging from the inro, a more than passing copy of Ranko, wearing a kimono half-falling off of her shoulders.

Akane watched as Ranma looked like he was pulling a cellphone out of his obi, but actually extracting it from a chi-pocket. He quickly made the call and then put the phone away in the self-same pocket, this time without trying to be subtle about it. He looked over at Akane, nodded and then went over to the spot where he was supposed to be seating and then lowered himself unto the zabuton, and adjusted his garments, looking more like a noblewoman who had to chastise a butler for dropping a vase. Akane couldn't decide between snickering or giggling, so the two came out at the same time. Ranko looked up at her, shrugged and seemed to sink into meditation and ignored everything happening around her.

Akane walked over to the major domo and the groped young lady, who were now quietly talking. Coughing gently, she introduced herself and started. "Ah, I'm really sorry that this happened to you. The police have been called and will be here shortly. Sir, if you wish to cancel the contract for today and leave, I will not hold it against you and will honour the original contract. Miss, I'd like to know what you'd like to do. I mean, not about you talking to the police about Happosai, but what you want to do after you've talked to the police. If you want to go home, I will cover any and all expenses…."

The young lady in question smiled and then bowed. "I completely understand, as my manger has been describing to me what the company's response to this incident will be." She giggled a bit, then covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Sorry, but this is the first time that this sort of thing has happened to me, so I'm not at my best. I'd like to finish my day, but I'm not sure if I can…."

Akane looked past her to where Happosai was seated, now surrounded by everyone else from the household as well as the other guests. Her glare went straight to the Grand Master and he looked up then looked at the floorboards in front of him, but studiously ignoring what was taking place around him. Gathering her thoughts around her like a coat, she returned her attention to the young lady and the major domo.

Sargent Imia with The Book tucked under his arm stepped into the dojo and looked around. Spotting Akane, he strode over and did a short bow and salute. "Ranko said that I should be talking to you."

Akane quickly brought him up to speed on what had happened and introduced the young lady. "Ah," Sargent Imia intoned after taking a quick glare in Happosai's direction. "A non-martial artist. I must say, Master Happosai, this sets a new low for you. In front of witnesses, too.' Passing The Book to Akane, he pulled out his police notebook, flipped it open to the next available page, checked his watch for the time and started taking notes, asking for details occasionally or repeating comments made earlier for clarification and validation, he detailed the event up to and including the actual assault. Flipping the page, he started recording Ranko's reaction and the ensuing action with the sword and tanto.

Taking a good look at Ranko/Ranma, his eyebrows climbed as he took in the current dress being worn and muttered "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Everyone in the room, including the major domo and the groped young lady snickered and nodded. Ranko sighed, stood up and then walked over and bowed to the Sargent.

"I apologize, Ranko. It just slipped out."

"Apology accepted, Sargent. I lost it when the Grand Master groped this young lady. As a martial artist, I was raised to protect the innocent and the helpless. Having the Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Indiscriminate Grappling do something like that in front of me and te invited guests, many of who are also non-martial artists…."

Sargent Imia nodded and took notes. "I assume that the sword and tanto in the butsudan are the weapons in question?" and pointed his pen in the direction of the shrine. Ranko nodded. A few more pen scratches took place as he recorded the fact.

The Sargent nodded as if confirming his opinion and snapped his notebook closed, tucked it away in his breast pocket and held his hand out to Akane, who suddenly realized that he was requesting The Book which was still in her arms. She extended it out to him with both hands and he gently removed it and opened it to Ranma's page and made some notes, then opened it to the very full pages for Happosai and took more notes. Closing the book with a snap, he stuck it under his arm.

He looked at Ranko and stated: "Ranko, while you have used sword and tanto, you did so in the defense of a civilian following an assault on her person. You are deemed to not be at fault, but are being cautioned not to make a habit of such activities."

Turning to Happosai, he stated "Grand Master Happosai, you have committed an unprovoked assault on the body and person who is not a martial artist. Consider yourself to be under arrest and you will accompany me to the station where you will be formally charged and taken into custody. Do you understand this?"

Happosai nodded, sighed and looked at Akane. "Akane, I apologize for having disturbed the reisei of the dojo and your gathering. I apologize that I must now leave."

Sargent Imia nodded and did a short bow in Happosai's direction Looking back to the young lady, he bowed again. "Miss, while you need to come to the station to sign the formal complaint, you can do so at your convenience. I'm sure that Akane here can provide you with an escort or transportation…" Akane nodded as did the major domo.

Bowing to the young lady again, he finished. "Well, I'd love to stay and see why everyone, including the Amazons are all dressed so fancily but I have my duties to perform. Come along, Master Happosai."

Happosai stood and walked over to the door, followed by Sargent Imia. After the Sargent had left, the young lady looked confused.

Akane leaned over and provided the information. "That book that Sargent Imia was writing in is a list of all the martial artists in Nerima. If the offense is great enough, such as Master Happosai refusing to accompany the Sargent, or he escapes from jail or doesn't complete his punishment, the word goes out to all the merchants in Nerima and he won't be able to get any food or accommodations, and the same would apply to any other martial artists who assisted him. Even the least of the martial artists in this room right now could remove any handcuffs put on us and walk out of the police station. It's only pride and the threat of empty stomachs and The Book that Sargent Imia is carrying today that is keeping Happosai in line."

The major domo leaned over, and whispered "all the food that we brought was for lunch for sixteen, now fifteen, martial artists and a few other other invited guests, plus all of us."

"Oh, my!" she murmured. "You wouldn't want all that to go to waste." Two of the maiko came over at Akane's gesture.

"Please go with these two maiko, and they'll get you properly dressed for lunch, and I'll introduce you to your table-mates, all of who can help you, okay?"

The young lady nodded and then bowed to Akane and her manager, and then followed them out of the dojo. Akane turned to the major domo and smiled. "Guess that we should get everyone seated and started on lunch before anything else comes howling out of the woodwork."

He nodded and waved at the other members of his staff. The geishas and remaining maikos started towards their assigned duties as Akane headed for her guests.

 _ **Ten minutes later…..**_

The two maikos accompanied their fellow worker back into the dojo, now swaddled in another furisode from Akane's collection and brought her to the table that Akane was standing at.

Akane looked over and smiled. "Ah, Mikoto-sama. Please be introduced to Doctor Tofu Ono who is a chiropractor and Japanese/Chinese medicine specialist, Doctor Mariko Konjo who is a psychologist who's just put up her shingle and specializes in treating martial artists as she is one herself, and Misters Kinjiro and Touma Fukushima who are lawyers that deal with my family's legal problems. Having said that, have no fear that I have any ulterior motives by seating you here. It's just a table of people associated with the family. However, if you have the need for any of their services, please make use of them and I will cover any expenses. Anyway, regardless, enjoy your lunch and watch the floor show later. It'll knock your socks off!"

Akane smiled and then turned to the guests now piling up at the dojo entrance. Standing just inside the door was Cologne and Shampoo, looking around nervously, not only from wearing their respective furisode and tomesode that matched their physiques, to the point that Cologne was not pogoing on her staff, but also that Akane was seemingly in complete charge of everything and not exploding in her usual fit of temper and mashing everything in sight.

Stopping before them, Akane smiled and then bowed. "Thank you for coming and wearing what I'd provided. I was not sure if you would come."

Shampoo looked flustered and unsure of what she wanted to say, and Cologne stepped in diplomatically. "Thank you for the invitation. You'd said that it was important that we all be here and that we set aside our differences if only for a lunch and an afternoon. I see that Happosai is out of the picture, so we should have a lot less distractions. We promise to not provoke an escalation of a situation and will not try to cause one as well. Is that sufficient?"

Akane nodded, bowed slight and said, "thank you for coming, and I will endeavor to make the day one that is interesting and very much unexpected. Ah, Uyko, thank you for coming. That furisode really does suit you."

Cologne and Shampoo, turned and were surprised to see Uyko and Konatsu both blushing and looking uncomfortable wearing proper attire for their actual sex and not cross-dressing and wearing them quite well. In fact, Konatsu and Uyko were closely matched and were just a hair off from wearing formal wedding kimonos.

Uyko gathered herself, blushing even more than she had previously, and bowed to each of those facing her. "Thank you for inviting me, Akane. As Cologne just said, so do I agree to set aside our differences and will not do anything to escalate or cause situations. Though I am surprised that you are requiring everyone to wear formal attire and then providing that attire."

A gentle cough cam from behind Uyko and Konatsu, who turned to face Kodachi Kuno, also dressed in a furisode, one sporting a subtle wash of black roses across the kimono. Sasuke accompanied her, looking distinctly uncomfortable in his non-standard-for-him formal kimono that seemed more suited to his being a groom to Kodachi's bride, though her kimono was distinctly not a bridal houmongi but looked awfully close to one.

Kodachi lifted her hand as if to stifle her usual laugh, then lowered the hand and smiled. "My congratulations, Kounji Uyko. I am surprised not only to see you here but seeing you in such formal attire and not your usual dress. Alas, I see that someone has also attired my manservant to the same levels as yours. If we were not under the terms that Tendo Akane had provided, I think that we both would be thinking that this is more than a coincidence and verging on a conspiracy."

Uyko looked Kodachi and Sasuke up and down and then nodded and bowed to a formal level. "If you are willing to accept coincidence, so am I, Kuno Kodachi."

Kodachi bowed back.

Akane smiled (almost smirked) and then waved the path to where the threesome couples were to be seated. "Please come this way. I tried to arrange seating so that everyone would be able to see everyone else. Unfortunately, it seems to mimic the arrangement for a wedding interview, which is not the intent." With this, she lead their way to the long table that sat at the front of the dojo, running parallel to the one currently occupied by Ranko. The arrival of his three other fiancees was not lost on her, who barely kept her expression of semi-indifferenece. When the other sat down and then bowed towards her in recognition, she bowed back in just as a formally neutral manner.

Akane smiled in having accomplished a near-miracle in getting everyone seated without sparking an argument or worse, and then headed to the door to welcome the next set of arrivals.

 _ **An hour and a half later…..**_

Akane felt the breath of a breeze behind her as Doctor Konjo slid in behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. Akane looked over her should and sighed. "Yes, not the greatest of luncheons was it, Mariiko?"

"Ah, I was going to suggest that you move on to the main event as everyone is getting to be very nervous about what will be happening. They've been very impressed by everything but are starting to wonder if this is a massive prank or something worse. Even your fellow fiances, including Ranko, have been trying to keep from sliding into trap-and-battle mode."

Akane looked over the tables. "Well, dessert's been served and everyone is as relaxed as they're going to get. Dad and Uncle Genma seem to be very relaxed, judging from the expressions on Auntie Nodoka and Kasumi. Well, might as well start the countdown and give everyone their gifts."

Akane stood and caught the eye of the major domo and the head maiko and gave them a quick sticky eye expression. They nodded and disappeared to perform their roles in the final act of the day.

She then stepped in front of the batsudan and bowed to the shrine and then turned and faced everyone at the tables scattered over the dojo. When the room was silent, she deeply bowed and started into her speech.

"Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for taking time from your busy day to have lunch with me. This is actually a celebration event and all will become clear shortly. For those of you who are concerned that your kimonos are rentals and have to be returned in immaculate condition, I apologize. I should have been clearer: these are yours to keep and enjoy in the future."

When the murmur of conversation died down, she continued. "I have recently come into some good fortune and decided to share it with my friends as well as the neighbours and acquaintances as a token for having put up with the last several years."

"In addition to providing lunch and your attire for the event, I have a number of gifts for specific people who have figured in my life. Don't worry, none of these are pranks or are intended as insults. Also, with the help of the Fukashima brothers, I have also made arrangements to pay all the taxes for today. If you do get a tax bill for today's gifts, please contact them and they will make it disappear. Okay, on with the gifts."

"Miss Hinako," looking at the young lady in the somewhat tight furisode, having absorbed a fairly massive dose of chi from all the martial artists surrounding her. "Thank you for putting up with all of the antics from myself and Ranma over the last years, what with Kuno and the Hentai Horde, the challenges and the rival fiances. I thought about what I could do to make an impact on your life for the better and really could not com up with anything except to help you with your professional development as well as a small token. You will shortly be receiving a letter for an all-expenses first-class trip to the hot spring spa of your choice as well as funding for a year of advanced training. Thank you for your patience, your teaching and your examples over the years." Akane bowed and received one in return.

"Yuka and Sayuri, Makoto and Shikako, my classmates as long as we have been going to school. We've gone through ups and downs together, boyfriends or the lack of same. I would like to contribute towards whatever career or post-secondary education you decide upon. I'm not going to say how much, but it will be sufficient for a local college or university, and maybe a year at Tokai, depending upon what you decide to do." The squeals from that table drowned out any response from Akane.

"Doctor Ono. You have always been there for my family over the years. I'll admit that I've enven had a very serious crush on you, one that you never returned due to your crush on my sister Kasumi. I would like to pay my family's and the Tendo family's bills in full a well as putting aside a fund in anticipation of future needs. I also want to address your very peculiar reaction to my sistem Kasumi as this is really impacting your capabilities as a doctor and our fellow patients. I have set aside sufficient funds for you to go to Doctor Konjo and resolve your reactions to and your relationship with my sister. I have also set aside a fund for any needed improvements to your clinic as well as vacations or a honeymoon if that really is in the future. Sorry, but no refunds, returns or exchanges are allowed."

"Speaking of Kasumi….. Sister, I thank you for everything that you've done for us and especailly me since our mother died. I kniow that you've set your dreams aside for our sake. I'd like to give you back those dreams. I've set aside sufficient funds for you to get yourself new clothes, not Mother's old clothes that you seem to be always wearing. Also, there are enough funds for you to finish high school as well as to get the nursing or medical degree that you want. I've seen the books that you've been borrowing from Doctor Ono, so you really have not excuse to give up on that dream. If you decide to stay as a perfect mother and housewife, I want that to be a decision that you have made for yourself, not had forced on you by circumstances that you have had no control over.'

"Well, we can't leave out my other sister out. NIbiki, you sacrificed a lot more for the sake of the family, and have been the one to make sure that we keep a roof over our heads. It's only how you went about that that most people including myself have issues with. There's not much that I can do to restore your reputation from what you've done in the past. I can only help you going forward. For that I have set aside sufficient funds so that you do not have to run your various schemes to raise funds. I've also set aside your university tuition and covered the cost of accommodations if you decide to go elsewhere to study. If you decide on Tokai, I know that your skills at squeezing the blood out of every yen will stand you in good stead without having to sacrifice your integrity and honour."

"Hibiki Ryoga. You are one of the most powerful martial artists here in Nerima, as shown by your having mastered several techniques that you learned under the tutelage of the Amazon Elder Cologne, that is exceeded only by two of your three main faults. One, you tend to be pig-headed and carry a grudge way beyond what is reasonable or even humourous. Second, you have a double-dose of your family lack of a sense of direction. This has gotten you into more situations that it even boggles the brains of trained martial artists. For the first and second faults, I have arranged with Doctor Konjoto help you with them. For the second fault, I am giving you the most advanced GPS dervice available, one that can be easily recharged with a small solar panel so you can attach to your backpack as well a univeral power convertor. The GPS also gives you direcgtion and distance to selected destination as well as giving you your local position such as country and nearest large city. Since your inability to remain in one location for extended period has interfered with your education, I have arranged with a correspondence school to provide you with the needed learning materials to gain your high school and even college or univeristy equivalence as well as mentoring to help you develop a career that makes use of your very unique disability or help you to minimize it. I am also providing you with an education fund as well as a drawign account so you will never to again have to resort to dehydrated ramen as you basic food staple. Finally, about your third fault: I know about the pig. Think on that and learn to live accordingly."

Sighing, Akane looked at her father and the Saotomes.

"Father, I know how Mother's death affected you back then and is still affecting you. I've arranged with Doctor Konjo for you to talk with her and to get the help that you need in moving forward. This does not mean that you will forget Mother but you will be in better control of those feelings such that you fall victim to. I've also put aside funds needed to fully restore the house, dojo and property until you and Uncle Genma can get the dojo running properly and are earning a proper income. Bad news is that those funds will be under the control of Kasumi and Nibiki to prevent you from pouring them into sake bottles or any of Uncle Gemnma's schemes."

"Uncle Genma. Aunti Nodoka. I'll tell Uncle Genma his bad news first. You get nothing. Your various schemes have been at the root of all of the chaos here at the Tendo dojo since you arrived. You will not be given any funds that you can drink or wench or gamble away. I have paid off your debts and set aside funds to pay for any future fiance claims in the future. The only income that you have will come from your odd job and the Ono clinic or through the dojo from teaching. Aunti Nodoka, I know how you've struggled with Uncle Genma taking Ranma on that be-damned training trip and all the chaos. I've arranged to have your house restored to your requirements and have arranged for your to have full title to that property. I've also arranged for a small fund to supplement your income, and have arranged for time with Doctor Konjo for counseling to help you with your issues with honour and manliness, which all appear to be focused around Genma and that training trip."

"Which leaves us with Ranma and the fiances. And me. Chaos personfied. I can see the wheels turning in their heads - she's trying to buy me off so she can have Ranma." "Wrong! As much as I'd like to, I've thought about this long and hard and have come up with a solution that helps all of us. You see, two of Ranma's problems is his sense of honour and not wanting to hurt anyone. That's resulted in his indecisiveness to actually making up his mind one way or the other. You see, he really does care about all of us, even Kodachi. To that end, I'm going to provide the means for them to consider everything and to not be held up by lack of funds, education or help. I can't solve everything but I fan help. I've arranged the following for each of you: I've paid off any and all honor debts or lost dowries, have set up for counseling with Doctor Konjo to help you work through all of your issues, have set up funds for you to get any needed education for your chosen careers, and have taken the necessary steps to deal with your any issues that would interfere with you making a clear-headed decision."

Akane walked over to the dojo doorway and faced everyone.

"Ah, I can see it in your eyes: 'what about Akane?' Well, you see, this lunch, the clothing, the gifts that I've given, the taxes that I've prepaid on, your behalf… All this is less than a quarter of what I've received."

NIbiki leaped to her feet, or rather as quickly as she could considering the amount of cloth making the kimono that she was wearing and pointed her finger at Akane. "You! You! You're the Twenty Billion Yen Girl! The one that the papers have been talking about for the last year!"

Everyone was suddenly talking or just sitting there gob-smacked. Akane finally got everyone to quiet and responded to her sister.

"Ah, Nibiki, trust you to figure out that. Actually…the press had it wrong. It's not TWENTY but FOURTY. At least that's my share."

NIbiki, who had just taken a glass of water from the table and was half-way though a swallow, spit-taked over Genma, triggering a curse-change. The panda then fell backwards with a mumbled "GWORF!?" and held up a sign saying "40?"

It took a full minute for the pandemonium to settle.

Akane signed and looked over everyone. "Yep! Fourty, and it all started when my pen-pal in Canada bought me a lottery ticket for my birthday. Had the single winning number for a prize of twenty million Canadian dollars , that's 1700 million yen. Well, stupid us, we decided to keep on buying tickets, or at least a thousand dollars more in the various lotteries in Canada. Won again, Five million dollars plus lots of second and third places. We did this for a month, and wound up with about sixty million dollars. We decided to go international and played some of the US, European and Japanese lotteries. Well, within the next six months, we'd managed to trigger the must-be-cheating alerts for all of Canada, United States, Europe and Japan, who all have asked the two of us to stop playing their lotteries. Even the Yakuza, and the various Mafia organizations. AND all the government treasury departments. All agreed on two things: we had won fairly and honestly and not using any form of marital arts technique, and the only conclusion is that some Kami or god had been playing loose with the laws of probability to have a lot of fun with a lot of people, least of all the two of us. We gave a massive amount of our winnings to charities, gave the Yakuza, Mafia and the governments a cut of the rest, and the two of us wound up with around fourty billion yen each tax-free."

Two Maiko came up and helped Akane out of the uchikake. A third maiko came up and stood behind Akane.

Akane continued. "So where does that leave me? My first stop was Doctor Konjo, to help me deal with my feelings of guilt over my amazingly good fortune, and also my anger, and my feelings and relationships with Ranma, Ranko, the other fiances and my family. To the latter, I have a simple answer. NO. I decline the arranged marriage as both Ranma and I are not ready for such a move and may never be. Couple that with Ranma's ongoing lack of a decision on any of the four fiances and never actually saying that he loved one or the other of us in public. This may dishonor me in the eyes of my family, my friends and my community, but I cannot continue living a life that makes my so unhappy and which I could see no way of resolving it outside of my death or becoming a brainless doll of myself, giving up all hopes and desires for just remaining standing still. So, for now, this is farewell. I may see you again in the future but not for some time."

Looking over her shoulder, Akane nodded to the maiko, who pulled out a tanto from her obi, raised it high and brought the blade down the back of Akane.

Akane shrugged and the kimono fell down her arms and unto the floor, the back of which had been sliced between neck and waist, revealing Akane in a tight gym leotard. Akane stepped out of the remains of the kimono, stepped into a pair of sneakers and then pulled a small backpack from beside the doorway unto her shoulders. She then bowed to everyone and then sprinted down the stairs, across the lawn and over the wall, her footsteps sounding along the pavement into the distance.

 _ **Six and a half hours later…..Ōizumi-gakuen Station, Nerima**_

Akane felt the breath of a breeze behind her as a massive sense of Deja-vu washed over her. A quick glance at the surrounding area showed no one paying attention to her, as did a review of her Chi senses. Hearing a polite cough, she turned her head to the other end of the bench that she was sitting on to see another young lady about her same age, looking a bit embarrassed as she pointed the the back-pack sitting taking the remainder of the bench.

"Excuse me, is that yours?" the young lady asked.

Akane started, realizing that she'd pretty well had nodded off. "Sorry, here, let me move it." she said as she easily shifted the large pack unto the floor and between her feet.

The young lady sighed and shucked her backpack off and assumed a similar position to Akane's at the other end of the bench. She glanced between the pack at her feet and the one between Akane's. "Either you're a martial artist on a training trip or you're running away" came her succinct remark.

Akane straightened up and took a hard look at her benchmate. "And what leads you to that question?" came the slightly catty response.

The young lady turned towards Akane and smilled. "Easy. Apply basic knowledge and logic: big pack, with lots of sharp corners meaning books and or boxes. You easily picked it up so it is either very light or very heavy. The clunk that it made when you set it down on the floor indicates that weight is moderate to heavy. Ergo, you are a martial artist who relies on strength - a ground-based school probably. The bag itself indicates that it was recently purchased as there are very few wear marks. It's mid-term so you can't be a university student. Your clothing is sturdy-looking but not inexpensive. Ergo, training trip, going away to live with relatives or running away. Since you are by yourself and do not look particularly unhappy but not sad would indicate the first and third options. Clothes being sturdy as for rough use would indicate against moving to be with relatives unless said relatives are on a farm."

Akane smiled and said"you know what I'm about to say, don't you?"

The other girl laughed "What? No shit, Sherlock?", the latter bit if full-fledged snarky teenager attitude and sarcasm with fists on hips.

Akane laughed and then reached her hand over. "Akane."

The other young lady returned the favour and said "Most call me Shan or Xian, but I answer to 'Kitty' with my friends."

Both stopped and then felt each other's hand in their own grasp. Realizing what they were doing, the both laughed. Akane regained control first. "Ah, you've done martial arts yourself."

"Yes, it runs in my family, mostly in the female line." She sighed at this point.

"Sounds like family is part of your problems," Akane observed.

Kitty nodded and looked sad. "Not the way that you're probably thinking. I got myself into a marriage agreement with no way of my being able to back out without losing massive amounts of face and honor. My fiance was reluctant to fulfill the agreement. In fact, it reached the point where my clan got involved and I was given a set of choices, none of which are acceptable to me or my great-grandmother who's the only one in my family to stand up against the will of the clan. So, I'm off to study in another city until things get resolved one way or the other. Of course, my family and clan won't know where I'll be so I've gone ronin."

Akane nodded. "It's an arranged marriage for me. What no one expected was for another three fiances to pop out of the woodwork, plus all sorts of chaos from additional fiances, challenges and the occasional kami or wannabe-kami thrown in for variety. The odd thing is, I think that I could have been friends with the other two main fiances, maybe even the third. However, everyone seemed to dig in their heels and there was no give anywhere from anyone. Then I had a lottery win that helped me plan to get away and really do something for myself rather than me filling a role that others had given me: dutiful daughter, dojo master, wife… No room for Akane to be Akane. So where are you off to?"

"Don't laugh, it's a school for maikos. My clan looks down on them with a vengeance, thinks that they are traitors to women. And don't get them started on geishas. Attitude is about 200 years out of date and think that they are prostitutes or worse."

Akane nodded. "I've meet some recently, skilled in martial arts, too."

Kitty nodded and tapped a pocket. "Have an invitation that my family and clan know nothing about, not even my great-grandmother. My funds are just about untraceable and I can supplement my income with the odd odd job like delivery services. Of course, the school will probably give me a list of do-not items. SIGH Just going to have to wait and see. Well, Akane, what about you?"

Akane sighed. "That's the rub. NO real plan beyond bailing and getting away. I've got money to last some time, but the more that I use, the easier it will be for me to be chased down. Got some plans and resources to push that off but it all comes back to money moving around. So, the life of student for me for the next while. Wonder if your maiko school has room for a total kitchen-wrecking klutz who can't boil water?"

Kitty snickered. "I don't believe that about you, you're too too good a martial artist not to be that bad."

Akane stopped he laugh and quirked an eyebrow at her companion, then leaned forward and took a hard look at her face and then her hairline, then leaned back. "you got me, Sham or should I say Shampoo?"

The young lady collapsed and settled back. "Damn! Got too comfortable and fell back into the old habits of playing the dumb Amazon….." Tears crept out of her eyes and she sniffled.

Akane slid across and wrapped her arm around Shampoo's shoulders. "Want to explain things to me?"

Shampoo shrugged and looked up at Akane. "My supposed troubles with speaking Japanese was just an act, initially to put Ranma at ease, and then later at the Nekohanten to earn extra tips. I'm really good at languages but hide that so that others feel at ease and superior. Good ploy when you're a spy as others will have expectations on how you will speak and behave and you are able to do the opposite when they least expect it. Not so great when you're trying to make friends or catch a husband."

"What I've told you is true. The Elder's Council has decided that I am not going to win Ranma or even his genes and they issued a direct order: either secure the boy or the genes or come back in a cat carrier, and get it done by the next full moon. Great-grandmother also got her marching orders: be the one to bring me back or face the wrath of the Council. Great-Gran tried to get the orders reversed but our absence has broken many of the influences that she had with the Council before we came to Nerima, and that's when we found about your efforts to resolve the fiance situation. No, the attempt did not spark the council's actions, it came after the decision had been made."

She sniffled and patted her pockets looking for tissues, then fished in a chi-pocket for a packet and pulled it out, then blowing her nose and wiping her eyes.

Akane focused on one small comment. "Why do you have to return in a cat carrier? Are they afraid that you'll become a ronin and run for the hills? Or is it to further embarass you at your failure?"

"A lot of the latter," replied Shampoo. "I was always the best-of-the-best and they wanted revenge for all the slights over the years. What I am facing was running the gauntlet at the Valley of Sorrows, where I would have to run for my life with no weapons and at least one of the crowd having dipped water from at least one of the Springs. Even if I would win my way through the gauntlet, I would still be locked into my animal form for the rest of my life or made pregnant and become a brood mare for the Musk or both."

She sighed. "It was Great-Gran who said that I should turn ronin and find somewhere to hide from the Council. There are other Amazons who've done this in the past and are living in Japan. They might be willing to help me, just not now when the Council is determined on this course. It was at your lunch that I had a conversation with one of the maiko and was given her card and an invitation to join the school when she found out about the council and its order. Great-Gran made sure that all of my savings went to your lawyers to be added to the funds that you'd provided, so she can honestly say that she doesn't know where I am or where my money has gone."

Shampoo smiled weakly. "So here we are, both running away. I know that you probably don't trust me but I'm putting my trust in you. Even the clue of the maiko school would be enough to have them chasing me down. And they would be coming at me with every warrior out for my blood and no mercy for anyone found with me."

Akane frowned. "Well what can we do, swear a blood brotherhood or sisterhood or something like that?"

Shampoo went gob-smacked then blushed. "OK, there is but it's really going to push your hentai button. It's called shield-sisters, and it means that we totally trust each other and share everything, even our loves and battles."

Akane looked thoughtful. "Why do I get this feeling that there is a big BUT hanging around out there. Well?"

Shampoo looked embarrassed. "OK, but don't forget that you asked and I warned you. Here goes. We. Share. Everything."

Akane thought about it and then glomed on to the wrong facts. "You mean like the Fourty Billion Yen? That's OK."

Shampoo sighed and rolled her eyes. "Think about it, Akane. NO it's NOT the money. It's everything that we share."

Akane looked blankly. "I really am not getting this."

"Oh ye gods! Do I have to draw pictures?" Holding up one hand in an OK sign, she started poking her forefinger in and out of the thumb and forefinger circle. "I have an itch, you scratch. You have the same itch, I scratch. Either of us find someone else to scratch our itch, the other is there to cheer them along and take your turn when someone gets tired…. THAT sharing! Kami! Are you that slow or innocent?"

Akane got really embarrassed and started on a slow boil when she finally clued in. She then grabbed the front of the bench and took some long deep slow breaths. "OK, OK. I get it and I'm not going to go off on a temper tantrum. I'm good! I'm good!"

Taking one long deep breath, Akane closed her eyes and drew another. Opening her eyes, she looked at Shampoo and said. "Mikoto did say that I have lesbian tendencies that I rebel against and need to work upon. That's behind me now. So, how do we do the shield-sisterhood thing? We draw blood and stick our fingers together and pledge eternal trust and love, right?"

Shampoo snickered. "Well, sort of. I think that we're going to have to find a love hotel or get our own room at some point. If you're not up to that yet, I'm willing to take it easy. It's really the trust part that we have to work on first."

"You sure on that? This isn't some perverted twisted plot to get me to give you Ranma?"

"Absolutely! Amazon's Honor, or what's left of it for me to give. If I get pregnant by Ranma, you'll be just as pregnant."

"Good, I'll take that! Besides, I don't think that I could carry on with the blockhead Akane routine any longer without breaking up and giving it away. Hello, Shampoo! Nice to meet you. Would you like to be my friend?"

Shampoo shook her head and then reached out and took Akane's hand. "Yes, Akane. It is nice to meet you and I very much would like to be your friend."


	2. Chapter 2

Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: Thanks for the quick feedback on the first posting. The original plan was to create a single all-in-one posting. However, things over Christmas got hectic around the homestead so I got to a good stopping point and then posted that. Now to get the next section done, and throw in more mayhem in the NWC-less-two.

This is actually the work of one day, December 27th, along with phone calls to the rest of my family up in Huntsville for my brother's medical issue and cleaning house and making dinner for myself, my wife and the dog.

Akane looked up from scooping out the last bits of her Boyfriend-And-You Super Special Sundae when a quiet cough from across the table. Quirking an eyebrow, she saw the spoon of her table mate point over her shoulder and the quiet voice of "pig-boy at 12 o'clock" just as a quiet but familiar voice sounded behind her.

"Excuse me, young ladies, but could you tell me where I am? I seem to have gotten myself massively lost…."

She placed the spoon back in the parfait glass and turned around. What she saw was not the expected orange-and-black bandanna, yellow shirt, kung fu pants and slightly outdoorsy odor of the Perpetually Lost Boy but there was definitely the shambles of a haircut and fang-toothed embarrassed grin. Looking back at her table mate, Akane winked and pulled a quick stinky-eye, then turned back.

"Well, you're at the Someday Sundae Shoppe on Rising Dragon Circle, is that enough information?"

His hand came up and rubbed the back of his neck and he looked even more embarrassed. "No, not really. Don't laugh but I have no idea which city I am in. Can you just point me in the direction of the nearest police box or station, and I'll take it from there?"

Her table mate patted her lips with her napkin and leaned across the table a bit and stage-whispered, "I think that has to be the worst pick-up line that I've ever heard. You'd better call for a policeman or the manager. I think that he's some sort of pervert."

He took a step back and waved his hands in between them while shaking his head. "No, no. I'm not but… but…. " He suddenly bowed deeply and straightened up. "My name is Hibiki Ryoga and I'm from Nerima. I have this family ability, practically a curse, in that if I get distracted, I teleport to a random location but I need to know where I am so I can figure out how to get back home."

Akane brightened and put on a big frown. "I'm from Nerima and I know Ryoga, and you look nothing like him." She sniffed. "AND you smell nothing like him. Yes, Kitty, I think that he is a pervert. Better call for the manager."

Ryoga sighed and very carefully reached for his wallet, pulled it out and extracted his identity card, then presented it to her. "See! I am Hibiki Ryoga, and I'm from Nerima, and see, it says right here that I have a disability of being a random teleporter."

Akane took the identity card and examined it and compared the picture to the person standing in from of her. "I've heard that they can make good fakes nowadays, so people can sneak into adult bars and clubs….."

Ryoga rolled his eyes, and reached inside his jacket and polled out a bandanna and tied it around his head and gave his most wolfish grin. "Does this match your memory?"

Akane studied him, tapping her forefinger against her chin. "I don't know. The Ryoga was always yelling some sentence or phrase and attacking some other martial artist….. what was it? Something about it all being someone's fault…. Do the yell and I might agree that you are Ryoga….. please?"

Ryoga sighed, ignoring the table mate snickering at him, and quietly said "It's all your fault, Ranma…."

"No, louder and with more emphasis…."

"It's all your fault, Ranma" he said louder..

"No, has to be louder…. Like you mean it."

This went back and forth several times, gathering the attention of more and more of the patrons from the restaurant and adding to Ryoga's level of embarrassment. The manager started coming out of his office and heading for their table.

Finally, loosing his temper, Ryoga yelled at the top of his lungs, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! PREPARE TO DIE, RANMA SAOTOME!"

Akane jumped to her feet and fist-pumped in the air. "That's the Hibiki Ryoga that Kitty and I remember! Hello, Ryoga. Please sit down and have something to eat and we'll get you started on your way back home."

Kitty was now stifling her laughs with the simple expedient of stuffing her napkin in her mouth and pounding the table, which was completely at odds with her being dressed as a maiko. The manager came over and gave them all an exasperated expression and said "I hope that this will be the end of his proof of who he is….. What will the young man be having?"

Akane gave Ryoga a quick up and down glance and said, "Ryoga is a martial artist and he's probably a bit peckish. Can you give him a Lunch Special, about the same amount as both myself and Kitty would have combined, on a single plate along with a pitcher of iced tea each, and another sundae for each of us, and put it all on our bill."

The manager sighed, bowed and made several hand-gestures to the staff behind the counter and departed for his office. The counter staff scrambled and brought out the pitchers of iced tea and glasses for the table, set a place setting in front of Ryoga and removed the two large parfait glasses and existing cutlery. This was quickly replaced by the gargantuan Lunch Special and two more sundaes large enough to sink a battleship or two each.

"Inutakimas!" all three went and they started into their respective items.

Ryoga slowed down a bit and then looked at the two young ladies, both wearing maiko kimonos and wearing the appropriate makeup for their attire. He took another few mouthfuls and put his chopsticks down and took a hard look at each of them. Sighing, he picked up the chopsticks and continued eating his lunch though at a slower pace, reflecting on what he had seen and heard.

When he'd finished his lunch, he put the chopsticks down and pushed the plate away, refilling his glass with the last of the iced tea, still looking puzzled.

Kitty smirked at him. "You still haven't figured out who we are, have you?"

He slowly shook his head, and tapped the far side of it. "Back here, you're striking chords but no bells are ringing. You both are familiar as all get out but how you are behaving is just not matching with any of my memories. I really think that I should know you quite well but neither of you are behaving in the expected manner. Oh, well; it'll come sometime or I'll wind up begging for you to tell me."

Both ladies snickered and Kitty leaned her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her fist. "Ah, a challenge. Are you sure that you're up to it?"

Ryoga vigorously shaked his head. "No, you've already proven that I am not to your skill level at this game. Speaking of which, what are you two doing, studying at the Greater School of Martial Arts Geisha Training?"

The other girl snickered and then laughed. "Well, we're not going to tell exactly what the school is called because there are reasons why we can't tell you everything. For your protection as well as ours. Aside from that, you're not too far off. Kitty is advancing in leaps and bounds which is surprising the heck out of the both of us. I'm going there for different reasons and am progressing but not at the same pace. Apparently, I have issues with kitchens."

Kitty snickered and nodded. "Martial arts skills come in handy when she cooks….."

"Thank you very much, sister dearest."

Kitty stuck out her tongue in a quick lick and went "MEOW!"

Akane leaned forward. "Well, what you can do for us is to give us the current news on Nerima. We heard that Akane Tendo and Shampoo have left but nothing more. Everyone that we know back home just shakes their heads, goes what-a-shame or something similar. It's as if the Earth swallowed them an they no longer exist."

Ryoga started to shake his head and felt the same words coming up his throat and then closed his eyes and started again. "You heard that Akane is the Twenty Billion Yen Girl?"

Both girls went "No! What happened?"

Ryoga's shoulders dropped. "No one really knew but she concealed that from everyone, including her sister Nibiki, until she threw this massive lunch at the dojo, made sure that everyone was dressed to the nines, and then dropped the bombshell - she backed out of the arranged marriage between her and Ranma, gave the reasons, and then bailed. She'd made sure that the clothes everyone was wearing slowed them down so she had a massive head-start on any pursuit before it could get organized. No one really knows where she is except that she is alive. At the same time, one of the other fiances, Shampoo, used the confusion to disappear as well. Apparently, there's Amazon customs that were forcing a marriage between her and Ranma, and she went ronin when the Amazon council insisted on a marriage and she couldn't or refused. Some say that they are together, some say that there was no love lost between the two so there might have been a battle royal between the two and Shampoo lost and died, which is why Akane's really hiding out. Even Elder Cologne cannot find Akane or Shampoo with her magic and scrying techniques."

Kitty looked down and wore a sad expression. Ryoga glanced at the other lady and saw a similar expression but also with a bit of determination showing up.

Kitty looked up. "What about everyone else. The rest of what's been called the Nerima Wrecking Crew?"

Ryoga smiled though he didn't look exactly happy. "We all tried to get on. Akane had left money for everyone to have time with a psychologist on our various problems, most of which contributed to all the chaos around us. Everyone got really sad and realized that they had been part of Akane's problems, and have been trying… For me, I've been working on my grudges and sense of inferiority and my family trait of getting lost at the drop of a hat. Today was the first time in a month that I 'went random'. Ranma blames himself for a lot of the problems with the Crew and has been keeping his own company as well as helping out at the dojo and doing the occasional odd job here and there to help out with things. Rumor has it that he tried going through every unattached female in Nerima but that lasted for about a month before he ran into Happosai one night on a panty raid (Happosai was doing the raiding) and Happosai is in a hospital somewhere under police guard. Nibiki has dropped all of her schemes and businesses and is making up for lost time in her grades, not that she really had to but she's nailed three scholarships to Tokai's School of Business. Kasumi… well, she was really hit hard with Akane's leaving and she and Doctor Ono had a big falling out over their relationship - not permanent but all the hidden things came out and they're seeing Doctor Konjo together and apart. The other two fiances, Uyko and Kodachi, keep dropping by the Tendo dojo but are not pursuing Ranma like they used to. Uyko seems to be leaning towards Konatsu and Kodachi is being another Nibiki, no schemes or plots anymore but seriously hitting the books and talking about the Tokai School of Botany,which is really freaking out Tatewaki and their father Principal Kuno as she's practically a hikkimori, except she's regularly around the Tendo Dojo or at Uyko's or the Nikohanten, looking and behaving like a normal person and not the Black Rose."

Ryoga looked at both young ladies and saw their sad expressions.

"Hey! If things had gone on the way that they were going, the resulting blow-up would have been a lot worse, perhaps catastrophic for the city or even Tokyo. It's been not a great solution but possible a good one."

"Look," he said. Both young ladies regarded him. "What say the rest of today is on me? I mean, I do have money of my own, and if you're not doing anything, we could go out and about and you can go to the movies or anything to shake you out of the blues that I've given you."

The two young ladies shared a look and nod, and looked at Ryoga. "OK, this afternoon is on you. Shall we call it a date?"

Ryoga blanched then firmed his shoulders. "OK, wasn't thinking that but if you two want a date, I'll be the date. Where do we start?"

Kitty spoke first. "Our place so we can change into casual clothing and get our stuff put away. It's just down the street and we can be on the road within a half hour.. Let's go."

Akane nodded. "Let's. Ryoga, are you up to being double-teamed?"

"I'm a Neriman martial artist. I am up to anything. Bring it on!"

Akane snickered and smirked at Ryoga. "Well, you said it. Don't say that we didn't warn you."

 _ **\- Half an hour later -**_

Ryoga was admiring the girls' apartment and its decorations. "I'm not the decorating sort, but I must admit that this is really well done. Who did the grand design?"

"She did! No, SHE did" and laughter echoed from the two bedrooms at the end of the hallway.

Ryoga laughed. "OK, sounds like this was a group effort, and one well done! Going to be long?"

Kitty shouted back. "Not long, but we'll have to take a shower together or we'll be here for hours getting our hair dried. Wanna join us?"

Akane shouted, "there's room for three of us here, you know!"

Ryoga grabbed the box of tissues beside the sofa and started pushing a handful up his nasal passages while shouting, "no! No! I'm good!"

Snickers came down the hallway. Kitty popped out with "Ryoga, do we need to get more tissues?"

He quipped back "if you two don't stop teasing, I'll go back there and we'll never get out of here…."

"Promises, promises! But that doesn't sound like the old Ryoga. He'd be sitting there with half a box of tissues stuck up his nose trying to stop the flood and trying to figure out how to run away."

"Blame that on Akari. Talk about a woman on a mission. Do you want to hear the details?"

"No!" came the simultaneous shout.

 _ **\- Somewhere around 2 o'clock the next morning -**_

Ryoga fell backwards on the sofa and looked at the two young ladies. I don't know where you get the capacity, I've tried to keep up with the two of you and I'm wiped."

Kitty smirked. "That's because we dance regularly as part of our maiko training and we're dancing for one. YOU have strength and speed but not endurance and was trying to keep up with the two of us."

"Well, give me a cup of coffee and some time to gather myself and you can point me in the direction of home and I'll be off."

"Nonsense, Ryoga! You're barely awake right now and even if you started in the right direction and angle, you'd poop out somewhere over the Sea of Japan without a tanker ship for you to land on. Better you stay the night, have breakfast with us and then we'll get you going. You've been way too much fun to leave you in the lurch like this."

He stretched and nodded, feeling more than halfway asleep.

Akane stuck her head around the corner of her bedroom doorway. "Besides, you still haven't guessed our names. "

Ryoga nodded and leaned back against the arm of the sofa, wriggling to make himself comfortable. "All I have are that your nicknames are Kitty and Madder, and you two have not provided any clues other than that you're from Nerima, are aware of martial arts but have never said your schools or backgrounds, have not talked about your schooling, and aside from being familiar with me and the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew, have been notably close-mouthed about anything that can identify you. I suspect that you've probably changed your hair colors and styles a bit as maiko keep their hair long and regularly styled."

"In fact, I'm too tired to think any more. Can you just grab me a pillow and some blankets, and I'll camp out here on the sofa."

Akane came around the corner into the living room wearing a diaphanous shortie gown and carrying a small stuffed animal doll. "And I thought that you might want something to cuddle up to while you slept."

"No, I'm good. Haven't had anything to cuddle for…. years…" as his eyes focused on the small black piglet shape with bulging eyes. He threw his arm over his eyes. "Please kill me now, Akane. I give up."

She said down on the edge of the sofa and looked at him. "Actually, I want to talk, then I may decide to kill or at least seriously punish you. What was it with P-chan?"

Ryoga sighed. "I've got no way of proving my word on this but I was definitely not the most honorable of people at that time. You know me, the Perpetually Lost Boy? You know what it's really like, hugs and cuddles maybe every other year when I managed to run into my parents, the only real source of affection being Shirokuro and the litter, and the only real contacts with other people have been mostly Ranma and you? I've got a Jusenkyo curse like Ranma, Mr. Saotome, Shampoo, and Mouse - just a cute helpless little black pig that you called P-chan and yet totally ignored all the clues and hints from others that P-chan and Ryoga might be the one and the same? I'll admit that I screwed over Ranma and his sense of honor not to tell you. As what I didn't want to lose was the affection that you showered on me. Then you dragged me into your room….. OK, I was pushing the envelope on dishonorable at that point, but I always was turned away from you or had my head buried under the covers or the pillows facing away from you and any mirrors or windows. When you finally went to sleep, I'd either be sleeping on top of the covers at your feet or trying to figure out the fastest escape route out of the house that wouldn't wake up Ranma. I stayed away from Nerima as much as I could or the family sense of misdirection permitted or when you needed to be rescued. I only attended your lunch because the letter arrived on the one day out of six months that I actually had found my way home and my parents were both there. They decided that I really had to go and make any amends that I could make to you, rather than the usual get-out-of-town-fast exit I'd make."

He sighed and sat up, managing to avoid bumping Akane as he twisted to get his feet around her and then unto the floor, where he stood up stepped back and then knelt down facing her. He bowed fully and placed his hands and head on the floor and said, "I really am sorry for all the troubles that I have caused you, for letting you continue to think that P-chan was just a lost piglet and not me, for forcing Ranma to conceal the secret from you and winding him up at every opportunity. I will accept any punishment from you, and will stay away from you and Shampoo from this moment on."

"Nani!?" went Kitty. "How did you figure out that?"

Ryoga twisted his head around to face her a bit. "When I was going through everyone in Nerima with a Jusenkyo curse, and the image popped into my head. 'Kitty' would be an obvious nickname for you, as neither of you mentioned anything about cats or why you were called the name you are."

"Ryoga!" groaned Akane and Ryoga returned to his previous position, shivering a bit at the suppressed anger in her voice. He lifted his head just a bit to see her bare feet in front of his face and then returned it to rest on his hands. He heard the floorboards shift as she squatted down in front of him, and then felt her hand on the back of his head and then taking a firm grip in his hair.

What he was not expecting was the gentle pull as she lifted his head and then dragged him up and back into another kneeling position, this time facing him. Her hand drifted down the side of his head and cupped his cheek. Her other hand came up to cup the other cheek and she shifted to a kneeling position in front of him.

Her hands pulled him forward and they both shifted forwards to keep from falling forward into each other. Akane pressed her lips into his and then shifted her arms around his neck, pulling him forward as she opened her lips slightly and moaned. Without realizing it, his arms also went around her waist and pulled her further forward while deepening the kiss and just sliding his tongue across her lips and then into her mouth. She pulled harder against him and replied in kind.

After an eternity of kissing and moaning, they realized that there was someone watching them. Or rather checking her watch.

Shampoo looked at the two and said, "Three minutes. Might as well state the obvious - she accepts your apology. So. What are you two going to do?"

Ryoga blushed and shifted his hands to cover the very prominent bulge in his trousers, looking down at the floor for a moment, he shifted back into a sitting position, then reached out and took one of Akane's hand from here it rested on his shoulder and brushed his thumb across her knuckles.

"I never really thought beyond making the apology and taking my punishment. Akane's got one of the highest sense of honor and dignity that I know of, while mine really wasn't anywhere close. I really did not expect to live more than a couple minutes, probably long enough for you to stick a tanto into the floor and to walk away."

Akane sighed and snickered. "You're right about that, even the day of the luncheon, I probably would have given that serious thought. Hence my comment and how I delivered it. Now, having spend the day with you, I've seen how you do behave in your unguarded moments and a lot of what I'd heard about you from everyone in the Crew, including Ranma in his roundabout back-handed rants, as well as what Doctor Konjo was saying, really started to make sense. When the moment came and push came to shove…." She shrugged.

"What do we do now? We probably should sleep on it, talk about it a bit in the morning, and then send you home safely to think about things while we do the same. However, while we were kissing, this massive baby-maker put in an appearance, and I'm curious about it. How about this: One night, one breakfast, one trip back to Nerima and you keep quiet about all of this, period. What do you say?"

Ryoga's nose exploded, splashing over Akane's front. She looked down and then back up at him. "I thought you said that Akari fixed that for you, or did you toss a whopper out there?"

Ryoga blushed. "No, I thought she had. But it's been six months since we broke up and well… I really think that we should go to bed….."

Akane shifted around and planted herself in Ryoga's lap and draped her arms over his shoulders, then wiggled her bum. "Go. To. Bed… That sounds good, what about you, Ryoga, or were you just trying to be all noble and self-sacrificing?"

Ryoga tried shifting Akane off of his baby-maker but not off of his lap, and looked over her shoulder at Shampoo. "Uh, Akane, your roommate….. I mean, Shampoo. She's right here."

Shampoo struck a gob-smacked pose. "I think Ryoga's got a modesty steak a mile wide. Ryoga, you do know Amazon customs, don't you?"

Ryoga slowly nodded.

Shampoo smiled and knelt down beside Ryoga and kissed him full on the lips. "Akane and I swore being shield-sisters. You know what that means?"

Ryoga slowly shook his head, looking between the two of them.

Shampoo leaned close and whispered in his ear, "It means that we trust each other more than just sisters, we are really one and share everything. I mean everything. Get it now?"

Ryoga smiled slightly, then his eyes bugged out and then rolled back in their sockets, and he collapsed backwards.

Akane looked over at Shampoo. "I think we just broke him."


	3. Chapter 3

Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: Thanks for the quick feedback on the first postings. In answer to one query, the short answer is that I'd planned to put it all into one big chapter, but decided to put out what I curently had and then grind out the rest of the story when the muse gave me an inspiration pille. Littel did I think that she'd spiked my morning tea with the equivalent of writing viagra. Now, I've got the urge to power out what happens when Ryoga gets back to Nerima and ties not not blab.

Uyko was setting out the okonomiyaki ingredients while Konatsu was opening the doors and hanging out the noren over the doors.

The whomp of displaced air followed by Konatsu's sqawk as he got tossed backwards through the door announced the arrival of her first customer (whether paying or free-loading) or the day.

Picking up the boiling kettle, she started a pot of green tea and place it on the counter in front of her then walked over to help Ryoga pick up and dust off Konatsu.

"You usually don't show up until lunchtime. Speaking of showing up, what happened to you yesterday? I saw you yesterday morning and you said that you'd be …. back … at … Hey! You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday and you don't do that since you stopped…. Oh let me guess, you got lost."

He nodded. "Oh, I really got lost."

Uyko poured him a tea and leanaed forward to put it in front of him. She sniffed.

"And you were in such a rush to get back here that you couldn't stop somewhere for a shower?"

Ryoga slumped and nodded. "I was trying to aim for home and then my stomach growled… First thought was 'I could do with one of Uyko's okonomiyaki right about now'."

Konatsu finally got him/herself straightened and chimed in "I don't think that you'll get anything right now, we're barely open, let alone ready to serve anyone."

Uyko chuckled. "This is starting to be like another chaos-magnet thing. Ryoga, you stay there and drink your tea. Konatsu and I will get this place properly open and you can then tell us of your adventures, all of them."

Ryoga blushed and looked down into his tea. "Uh, I'd rather not, Uyko, Konatsu. I met someone and promised that I not talk about it. I'm going to drink my tea and then head home, I hope."

Both chef and waiter/waitress looked over at Ryoga and then at each other. They smirked at each other an shrugged. Uyko looked firmly at Konatsu. You take Ryoga home and make sure that he gets there safely or at least stick to him if he 'wanders', Neh?"

Konatsu slowly nodded.

Ryoga nodded, and put the tea mug down after draining it. "OK, Konatsu-kun. Drag me home but I'm not going to blab anything. This deals with two young ladies' honor."

Uyko nodded. "See you in two hours. I'll trade you my Martial Arts okonomiyaki in return for what exactly happened before the honor of these two young ladies got involved."

Ryoga shook his head and placed the tea mug on the counter. "Sorry, even that won't tempt me. No. No. I'll get home on my own, thank you very much."

With that, he stood and bowed to the two of them and walked out of the restaurant, then turned in the opposite direction of his house, stopped and then turned around and started walking in the correct direction, rapidly accelerating to a run and dodging the early-morning pedestrian traffic.

Uyko smirked and snickered at Konatsu. "Can you imagine it? He gets lost and winds up spending the night with two young ladies!? You know that no one in the Crew is going to let this lie?"

Konatsu shook his head and looked at her. "So, who are you going to tell first?"

Uyko was already reaching for the phone. Dialing a number, she spoke, "Nibiki. Guess who just dropped in for a morning tea and then headed home to shower? Yeah, HIM! He was muttering something about guarding the honor of two young ladies. Yeah. Yeah. Nope. Even promised his a special lunch if he told anything about his day. That's when he left. Yeah, not a word but he also didn't make me promise not to say anything about this. You think that Ranma might wiggle soemthig out of him? Yeah, no matter what, it's going to take a couple days to set him up and blindside him with the question. Yea, THAT question 'who did you sleep with?' "

 _ **Three days later, Uyko's Place, dinnertime**_

Uyko threw her cleaning cloth into the sink and glared at the four women sitting at her counter, five if she was being generous towards Konatsu, which she wasn't at this particular time.

Kasumi sipped at her tea and nodded at the others. "He's being really secretive about it and actually minding his words before says them. When did that kick in?"

Nibiki nodded and sipped at her cup of sake. "All of my contacts say the same. You get close to 'that day' and he clams up. I think that whatever or whoever happened is a matter of his martial artist's honor and he's not going to budge."

Kodachi shook her head. "Short of using one of my flower extracts to loosen his tongue, he's really not budging."

They all looked at the final female character sitting in front of the counter. Ranko laid her dinner plate down and looked at it as if daring it to remain empty. "I tried everything and got zip. Heck, I even tried getting him drunk and ran out of money and sake before he got lubed enough to say anything more than 'ice cream sundaes', 'really cute maikos' and 'Rising Dragon Drive'. Well, Nabs, any clues on how many ice cream shops that is?"

Nibiki was tapping on her smart phone. "Eight-five on searching for ice cream sundae and similar shops on Rising Dragon anywhere in Japan; figuring in maiko training locations, and it comes down to a dozen plus."

Uyko nodded. "Yes, way too many to make any sort of discrete search short of asking every maiko in the area if they'd run into Ryoga, and even less chance of them actually fessing up that they'd gone to bed with him."

Everyone nodded and Kodachi bumped Ranma. "How much sake were we talking about, darling Ranma?"

Ranko held up three fingers. "Three flaming isshobins, and I got him doing four to my one, until I got him not noticing that I was doing a shaku to each of his go servings. That guy may be a tee totaler but he's got a capacity for the stuff that's unbelievable. I figure that he took in two and a half isshobins and was still sober enough to only let those three phrases out."

Kodachi nodded and tapped her forefinger against her chin, obviously thinking something deep and devious. "Sounds like we need to get some serious experts involved. Kasumi dear, how long since your father and Uncle Genma have gone on a bender, a real serious bender and dragged the boys along?"

Ranko immediately started reacting in a very negative manner between him/herself and the others on the counter. "No! Now way in hell I'm going to repeat that event! My head rang for a day after I finally managed to sober up. And then I found that they'd stuck me with the bill!"

Kodachi smiled, showing the long-departed Black Rose at her most fiendish. "Well, dear Ranma, you haven't been funded by a Kuno have your? And you now know how to pace yourself with Ryoga AND your father AND Master Tendo? You keep sipping your shakus like the young virgin that you are and let the Real Men get Ryoga drunk. Then, at the right moment, you ask Ryoga about what happened with the maikos and brace yourself. Better yet, make sure that your records the evening on your phone so we can all hear what happened. I can easily fund you four getting your hands on a couple or three 4-to barrels. Humh?"

Nibiki chimed in. "It's got to be one of Dadd's regular drinking holes. We have to make it some sort of stupid prize, like Genma's weight in sake. Yeah!" Give me a couple days to rig the contest and to make Genma the happy winner, and to make it even more believable, Daddy's going to win second prize, which is 'half your weight in sake'. Let's see that about 250 kilograms, which is a close match for litres, so we're probably talking the actual prize being 3 4-tos, plus kicking in everyone else getting drinks to get the juices flowing and make the drinking binge being believeable, plus some extra prizes like a 1-to and a few isshobins and 4-gos as consolation prizes, and a kick-in for the waiting staff and pub owners, say the equivalent of 12 4-tos, and…" She scribble a number on a napkin and passed it to Kodachi. "This look about right?"

Kodachi looked at the numbers and nodded. "Less than my week's allowance from Dearest Daddie. Considering that I've been a very, very good girl lately, and Daddy doesn't check on what I actually do spend, I can give you the funds tomorrow. Your job, Ranma darling, is to convince your father and Master Tendo that they need to take you and Ryoga to that particular bar on that particular evening. All you need is a credible excuse."

Ranko nodded. "No problem on that, we just got two new students. They're already planning on how to spend the fees that they'll be collecting."

Kasumi raised a finger. "These two are of legal age, suggest a welcoming drink for their joining the dojo. Those two Masters will easily go along with things. Be somewhat scrupulous on talking up a couple of drinks, and then point out the contest. Then sit back and let nature take its course."

 _ **Three NIghts Later, Happy Bottom Drinking Club, Nerima.**_

The sake-fuelled party or mass drinking binge was in full mode. The gambit of pointing out the contest of winning your weight in a reasonable (that is, a recognized brand name) sake had resulted in everyone at the table ponying up for a single ticket each. After all, they were there only for a couple of drinks to welcome the new students, and everyone had jobs to go to the following morning. By the time the second round had arrived, and everyone was feeiling a bit mellow, the last call for contest tickets was made, resulting in a quick flurry at the table for more yen to buy tickets.

Five minutes later, surprise-of-surprises, 6 of the prizes, including Genma winning the grand prize and Suon the second prize, plus an assortment of 4-gos and isshobins wound up on the table. Genma added to the festive atmosphere of the celebration by making sure that everyone present at the Happy Bottom got a couple rounds "on him". The original stated reason of a couple drinks rapidly devolved into a variety of drinking games against neighboring tables.

The two students finally bailed (they used the legitimate excuse of having real jobs and being practically salarymen and not full-fledged committed martial artists) and the drinking games continued, resulting in the consumption of at least five of the six 4-tos "won" by Genma and Suon.

Judging the moment right, and really feeling the sake reaching the point-of-no-return for him, even though he'd been sipping shakus to everyone else's consumption of gos as if they were so much water, he leaned in close to Ryoga and whispered, "listen, Ryoga. What were those two maikos like, really? They must have been really nice."

Ryoga's head slowly came up off of the table and he blurily focused on Ranma. "Really, really nice, and not THAT way. Besides, Akane and Shampoo really don't deserve to be bandied about like a couple of the fast dates like you were doing after they'd left." His head thumped back unto the table and he started snoring.

Ranma straightened up as the words percolated through all of the sake that he'd consumed. His face went through various shades of white and then rend. His battle aura came on full strength and he now towered over the table, reaching for Ryoga.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, RYOGA HIBIKI! PREPARE TO DIE!"


	4. Chapter 4

Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: Well, Ryoga's gone home safe and sound, but the rest of the NWC have put into play a cunning plan (check the Blackadder series with Rowan Atkinson for the true meaning of "Cunning Plan"). Now Ranma has to face the consequences of his blowing that cunning plan out of the water…..

 _ **Nerima Polic Station, Holding Cell, 8AM**_

"SAOTOME. RANMA SAOTOME!" went through his head like a dull chisel, accompanied by the gaoler tapping his truncheon on each cell door along the hallway. The sadist in a police uniform must have reached his cell because he shouted once agin "RISE AND SHINE, SAOTOME! YOUR MOTHER IS HERE WITH YOUR BAIL!" and then pounded on the cell door with his truncheon.

Ranma rolled over and off of the platform that he'd been trying to sleep upon and creshed to the floor. "Hang on, I'm awake! I'm awake" he shouted, though it came out more as a whisper.

The keys rattled in the door for an exceptionally long time and the door was thrown open to smash against the wall and the gaoler laughed at Ranma's attitude and pained expression.

"Please, please. No more laughing. It… it….. hurts too too much…" Ranma whispered as he tried to stand while holding his head.

"Oh, poor boy! Come on, let's get you tidied up a bit, have the doctor check you over and issue you some pills, and you can go upstairs and meet your mother's wrath."

Ranma tried to cock an eyebrow at the gaoler and failed miserably. Focussing his attention on the goaler's belt, he sighed.

"Why the big sigh, big boy?"

"You're not carrying a gun, so you just can't shoot me now and put me out of my misery."

"Sorry, no such luck. I'll just close the door and you can take care of your necessities. Pound on the door when you're ready. However, don't make me come in after you."

Ranma nodded, and the door was close. "Five minutes, Saotome!" came the gaoler's booming voice.

Ranma shuffled over to the toilet and looked at himself in the metal mirror hanging over it. "Bleh!" he did at himself as he took care of his now extremely-full bladder making itself known.

A minute later, he was trying to quietly pound on the door. The gaoler walked down the hallway and his keys again jangled in the keyhole and the door opened. Ranma stepped out into the hallway as the gaoler closed and locked the door and then pulled the file folder out of the holder next to the door. "This way," he said and pointed Ranma down the hallway to the office labelled "Doctor."

Five minutes later, and a massive amount of pain tablets later, Ranma stepped out into hallway and was pointed to the secured door at the end of the hall. Another crashing pounding by the gaoler on the door had the security lock being remotely released and the door swung open. Another hallway and security door saw Ranma now standing in front of a caged window while the gaoler passed Ranma's folder to the officer on the other side of the window. An envelope with an attached form was laid on the counter and the contents of the envelope enumerated: belt, shoelaces, wallet, pocket change, cellphone, bills from wallet, and a message "Sign here" with a hand passing him a cheap pen and pointing to the spot on the form. Ranma signed and then tucked everything away and followed the Goaler through the last security door into the lobby.

Nodaka Saotome was standing next to Sargent Imia, who was carrying The Book with his finger stuck at a specific point. Ranma guessed that it was marking his page. Ranma also noticed that his mother was not carrying the bundle of the family honor sword, which made him feel a lot better than his first view of Sargent Imia.

He walked over and bowed to his mother and then the Sargent. "I guess that last night really put me in your bad books."

The Sargent nodded and opened the book and looked at the charges. "Drunk and disorderly, fighting, assaulting a police officer, damaging police property, to be specific, bouncing Ryoga Hibiki off of the TWO cruisers responding to the fight call, disorderly conduct and public profanity, property damage. You get to see the magistrate the day after tomorrow at ten o'clock. Mrs. Soatome has the details."

With that, he closed the book, saluted both of them and then walked away. Nodoka looked at her son, sniffed, turned and started walking away. Ramna followed her out of the police station to a waiting taxicab, opened the door and held it for his mother. She looked at him sharply and he looked down at his feet.

"I am not happy with you at the moment. However, there has to be a logical reason for what happened last night. We'll be going to the Tendos and you will explain it all to everyone then."

She slid into the seat and then across to the far side, and Ranma sat down and closed the door, giving the driver the address to go to.

The trip went in absolute quiet, the driver gratefully not trying to engage anyone in random conversation. Within ten minutes, they had reached the address, and Ranma bounded out of the taxi and went around to open the door for his mother, who then walked towards the gate while Ranma fished out the payment from his wallet, finally passing the entire set of bill to the driver and thanking him. The driver tried passing some of it back but the stern glance from Ranma made up his mind. With a quick thank you and goodbye, the driver pulled away, leaving Ranma to pass through the gate and close it behind him.

Ranma stepped into the entranceway and found no one waiting for him. Extending his chi senses, he found that everyone was in the washitsu. Changing his shoes for the sole remaining indoor slipper pair, he stepped fully into the house and turned into the room.

He did a rapid headcount: Suon, Genma, Nadoka, Nibiki, Kasumi, Kodachi, Uyko, Sasumi, Konatsu, and perfecting his utter disaster of a life, Ryoga. Sighing, he stepped towards Ryoga and knelt down in front of him.

"Ryoga," he started, "I was a total prat. The whole night was a setup to get you drunk enough to talk about your two cute young ladies that you'd encountered on your Lost Day. At any time, I could have stopped the plot but I didn't. I'll admit that I was just as curious as they were that one let alone two young ladies had impressed you as much as you had been with Akari. Rather than waiting for you to actually talk about it, we put together a typical Nerima Wrecking Crew cunning plan. Aside from the trip over to the Happy Bottom to celebrate the new members of the dojo, everything else last night was a set up. When you got drunk, I asked you a simple question about the young ladies, and you replied with their names, something that you had been concealing as it involved your honor as a martial artist. An honor that I am now sadly lacking as I reacted to those names and tried to to assault you, a matter made the worse due to my being drunk and not in control of myself."

"I am taking personal responsibility for the events of last evening and will prove my honor to you and the young ladies in question by keeping their names in confidence."

"I think that Ryoga may wish to have words with me in private before I leave. I'll be in the dojo."

Ranma stood and bowed deeply to Ryoga and then gave a glare to the other members of his generation in the Nerima Wrecking Crew and headed out to the dojo, sliding off the slippers and putting them back into their slot and picking up his shoes and walking barefoot to the dojo and leaving his shoes outside by the steps as he stepped inside and sat down in front of the butsudan and then knelt in meditation.

A minute later, Ryoga stepped inside of the dojo and then dropped into meditation beside Ranma.

After two minutes, Ryoga whispered, "even the worst that I did to you, this went way beyond that. You put me in a position of weakness and then took advantage of the situation. What assurances do I have besides your word that you won't let their names slip out when you get drunk or your temper gets the better of you or someone does THIS and THAT to you? Here's a fact that you may not have learned: one of the twosome is under a death sentence from her clan from the moment that she left Nerima. Not only that but the two have tied their fates together. If they get caught, both will be killed. Oh, you haven't heard it? Now you do, so any leak from you can result in their deaths, or if the clan leaders are feeling merciful, a fate literally worse that death. What am I going to do about last night? Nothing. You now know everything that you wanted to know, but you also know the price associated with it. Me? I know my limits and will stay within them, so no one will be able to take advantage of them."

Ryoga stood then walked in front of Ranma, squatted down and reached out with his right hand and flicked Ranma on the forehead between the eyebrows. "Consider that your beat-down from me. The rest is completely up to you."

Looking over Ranma's shoulder, he saw the rest of the plotters peeking in through the doorway. "Yea, you guys, too. Time for all of you to grow up. I have."

With that, he stood up and walked out the door, blinking away in his near-classic "getting lost between one step and the next" move.

 _ **Three Days Later, Still No Sign of Ryoga**_

Ranma was closing an elementary beginners class when Suon waved at him from the door. Quickly closing the class with some quick reminders of what the students needed to practice in preparation for the next class and then dismissing them to their parents, he bowed to the class and then walked over to Suon.

Giving a quick bow, he followed Suon out the door to be greated by the sign of two young Joketsuzoku, along with a pile of pin coordinated airline baggage, sitting within the front gate to the Tendo property.

Ranma smiled, then firmed his expression and approached the pair. A short bow greeted the young warrior. "Greetings, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung. You do know that the Joketsuzoku are generally not welcome here at the Tendo Dojo since the day that Akane and Shampoo disappeared and then after Cologne was exiled here?"

Ling-Ling stepped forward and bowed deeply.

"That is why we came here in secret, so that the Council of Elders will not know we have left until we are here and have found Big Sister Shampoo. We watched what was happening in the village and did not like the changes that they were making, and the treaties that they were making with the Men from Beiging against the Mush and the Phoenix People. Others felt the same way but have too much fear. We saw that we could get away, first using the New Phoenix Puppet technique to get away from the valley to the nearest airport and then taking the airplanes to Shanghai and then connecting on to Tokyo and taking the trains to Nerima, then taking a taxi to the dojo."

Ranma nodded and looked at Suon. "Pardon me, Master Tendo, but I must disturb the reisei of the dojo." Suon nodded and walked away and leaned against the dojo, watching events unfold with a seeming nonchalance that he would not have previously shown.

'Okay, let me get a few more facts before I get started. Where did you leave you New Phoenix puppet?"

Ling-Ling responded. "We couldn't pack it in our carry-on luggage as we don't have the level of chi-pockets needed for that. We left it in the automobile parking lot."

Ranma nodded and looked at Lung-Lung. "Where did you purchase your airplane tickets and how did you pay for them?"

Lung-Lung beamed. "We were most careful. We found a merchant at the airport who specialized in travel and asked him for the best and fastest way of reaching Nerima. We also provided him with gold lumps well in excess of the actual price of the tickets to ensure his maintaining his silence. He wore much the same uniform as the Jusenkyo guide, so we knew that we could trust him. "

Ling-Ling tugged on her sister's sleeve. "I don't like Ranma's expression, Lung-Lung. I think that we painted a big straight line from Joketsuzoku to here that the most ill-trained tracker could follow. What we gained in a speedy trip means that they don't have to search for our trail."

Ranma nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose. Ling-ling observed this "See, Lung-Lung. He does what mother does just before we get punished."

Suon snickered and gave Ranma a thumbs-up. "Are you sure that they're not your daughters?"

"Not you too, Master Old Man! The first stop for the Amazons on the hunt will be the dojo. Listen you two, do the Elders have a radio that they can contact the Nikohanten?"

The two sisters looked at each other and then shrugged.

Ranma looked over at the pile of pink coordinated suitcases and sighed. "I'm also guessing that you packed all of your Chinese clothing and nothing that would make you disappear into the general Japanese population? Did you also check everything that went into your cases PLUS THE CASES for tracking pebbles or similar markers that would allow them to scry exactly wehre you are?"

Both sisters now looked to be extremely embarrassed and looked at the their feet and scuffed the ground.

"OK, dump all your hidden weapons beside your luggage and come in and have some tea while I try to figure out what we're going to do."

An amazing accumulation of various weaponry and in a wide range of sizes appeared beside the luggage pile. Ranma looked over at the outgoing and incoming students and called out. "STUDENTS!" he called out. The responding "hai, senpai" included Ling-ling and Lung-Lung.

"No one is to go looking or rummaging through this until both Masters Tendo and Saotome and I have had a chance to review any for dangers. These are real weapons and capable of doing SERIOUS DAMAGE to you or the surroundings if not handled properly. They are also THE PERSONAL PROPERTY of Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung who are our guests, and NO MAKING FUN OF THEIR NAMES. They will challenge you for that and will wipe the floor with all of you, if not simply kill you outright. Do I make myself clear?"

"HAI, SENPAI!" came the shouted response. Ranma nodded and waved the two sisters over to the house.

Suon smirked and said, "I'll take the next class. You get the Crew going on figuring out if the Nekohanten is aware of their arrival."


	5. Chapter 5

Akane Hits the Big One, Repeatedly

Author's Notes: This story is starting to grow legs of its own - SIGH - BTW, the Happy Bottom Drinking Club is a spin on the very real dude ranch (Happy Bottom Riding Club) owned by the notorious female pilot Pancho Barnes, and immortalized in the movie "The Right Stuff".

 _ **Tendo Household, An hour after the arrival of Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung**_

Ranma thanked Kasumi for providing the expanded lunch, echoed by Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung as they dug into the martial-artist-sized portions rather than the airline portions that they had been eating over the previous couple of days.

Ranma looked around the room at the other members of the Nerima Wrecking Crew and then focused on the ninjas. "Konatsu, Sasuke. Any signs of the Tendo Dojo being watched or that they are aware of the arrival of our two guests?"

Both shook their heads. Susuke continued, "nothing out of the ordinary. Mousse still appears to be in charge and tries to make Cologne's life a living hell. Either they're being really canny or they aren't using the full range of modern technology to their advantage. Once a runner does get here, that could all change. Right now, we could slip in a very short message to Cologne under the disguise of an order but that would be it."

Ranma nodded and then looked at Nibiki. "OK, getting a message to Cologne will have to wait. Nabs, Kasumi , have either of you any way of passing a message to Akane or better yet, Shampoo?"

The two sighed and Kasumi muttered, "I know that we'd finally have to talk about THAT."

As the other fiances, including Ranma, wore shocked expressions, Nibiki took up the thread. "It's not really like we can pick up the phone and call her, but Akane and us have been posting Personal Ads and Announcements in the Japan Agricultural News, just words and phrases. Unfortunately, you really can't track where the posting is coming from. Let me check..."

She got up and ran to her room and back with her cellphone and started skimming the named newspaper. "Hold on! WE do have something, posted just this morning…. 'The pig arrived three days ago and hasn't settled down since. The wild stallion must be to blame.' That sounds about right for a message from her. You want me to send a message?"

Ranma thought and then got out a piece of paper and a pen. Sliding the paper to Nibiki, he said, "not sure if this will work but can you give it a try?"

Nibiki held up the note and read it out loud. "Stallion has been put to work pulling the family plow. Just had two lost kittens from China show up at the gate, little sisters to the Siamese C-c-cat. Usual fun and games, so no need to hurry home, especially if still riding the bike."

Nibiki started typing and then looked up. "Done, but you're paying this month's billing for posting. Stuttering is an extra charge."

Ranma nodded. "Two, maybe three are safe. Now we have to make sure that our lost kittens are nice little Japanese schoolgirls for the next while. Anything in your luggage that you absolutely need to have?"

The two sisters looked at each other, muttered and then nodded at each other. "Will everything be safe?"

"Perfectly, and the safest spot in Japan for the pile, especially if there are any tracking stones tucked away in them. Speaking of which, Kasumi, do we have any of Akane's old clothes around that would fit these two? They've been on a long, long journey and need to get REALLY CLEAN, maybe even get their hair cut."

Kasumi and Nibiki smirked and nodded and the Chinese sisters blanched and patted their hair and looked at Ranma. He nodded back, and muttered. "those tracking stones or even scrying marks can be anywhere so we have to be absolutely sure for now. Time permitting, I'll find one of the hair restoring potions and you can go back to your usual styles when things are safe."

Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung nodded and then followed Nibiki and Kasumi.

 _ **Three hours later….**_

Ranma was looking out over the intermediate class and last one of the day at his two "new students" working away at the back of the room, trying very hard to blend in with everyone else. He nodded at them and smiled.

Bringing the class to a close and working through the cool-down exercise, he dismissed the class with the usual reminders about practicing for the next class as well as the day's new warning to stay well away from the pile of pink suitcases and weapons sitting outside of the dojo.

Watching the other students and their parents depart the yard, all of the students ogling the pile of weapons and their parents making efforts to get them out of the compound as quickly as possible while saying that they could not get any of those for gifts on their birthdays.

Spotting Konastsu and Sasuke slipping into the yard with a few other assorted ninjas, he wandered over towards them and gave a quick bow. "You know where these have to go and can get in and out without problems?"

They all nodded and Ranma passed over the customary non-payment for their services and walked away, drawing the attention of Lung-Lung and Ling-Ling. "Say good-bye to your stuff for a while…" as the various cases and weaponry disappeared into various chi-pockets and swag-bags and the ninjas quickly and quietly left the property in a variety of directions. "By this evening, they will all be hidden in various of Master Happosai's panty caches all over Nerima. No, he doesn't wear them, he collects them. With him being in jail or somewhere on a long,long training trip, they're perfect places to store things."

The twins expressions said otherwise.

Nibiki strolled by and looked them over. "Better get cleaned up, you two are coming clothes shopping with Kodachi, Kasumi and me. You've got school starting on Monday and you need to be ready. If you're going to hide out here in Japan, you need to blend into the background. You did a good job this afternoon but two junior-high students not going to school is going to cause talk, which means….."

They nodded. "We'll stand out like a fire on a beach at midnight on a dark night."

"Exactly!" Nibiki enthused. "You two go first and we'll get going. Unless you want to wait for Ranma and drag him along….."

They blushed and looked at each other. "No….. No. ." They scampered away in the direction of the furo.

Ranma looked at Nibiki and her slight smile. "Are you playing matchmaker again? Besides, they're what? fourteen years old. Yeah, and the last time that they were here, they were all gung-ho about sharing me with Shampoo. I am NOT going to get swept up in that level of craziness again, so you can stop it right now."

Nibiki's slight smile got a lot bigger. "Duly noted, Mister Saotome. What we are doing is laying the grounds for them being here on a legitimate basis, while at the same time making sure that the Joketsuzoku know that we're on to them trying to slip these two in as spies, or alternately, letting them know that these two have arrived safely and that we are taking care of them and making sure that they can't be used as pawns against us. Dinner tonight is at Uyko's place so no sneaking snacks before then."

"What about letting the Old Ghoul in on whatever secret we're going to be feeding her?"

"Nodoka will be dropping that hint in her usual cafe-klatch with Cologne this afternoon. I think that this well be a comment about little twin sisters dropping by for a visit for the first time in five years and hopefully no more dragons flying around."

"I'd tell Mom to be a little less subtle than that, we want Mousse to figure it out. Maybe have her demolish their names in the usual Japanese mispronunciation. Better yet, see if she can do some sleight of hand and put Vaseline on Mousse's glasses."

"OOOOH, Saotome, are you sure that this is something that is improper for a martial artist of your caliber to be thinking about doing, let alone talking your mother into carrying out the deed?"

Ranma smirked. "Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy. The nasty little prat deserves every trick being played on him. He may be a loyalist and a patriot in the eyes of his tribe, but not in the eyes of his equals here in Japan."

Nibiki smiled, one more of a smirk with a serious amount of malice in it. "You sure that you don't want to come along with us? Maybe carry the bags?"

Ranma shook his head. "More likely, you'd get me waterlogged and and get me trying on garments in the sexy lingerie section…"

"And you'd enjoy every bit of embarrassment, wouldn't you?"

"Ah, but that's one thing that I won't be letting you know. And THAT's going to stick in your craw for the rest of the day. Besides, here come the twins with Kasumi. Better get going. Better yet, what newspaper are you now using for passing messages?"

NIbiki smirked. "I'm going to switch things tomorrow since the girls know and we need to cover trails. You thinking of sending a note? Something like 'Wild stallion needs to be bred'?"

Ranma shook his head and whispered "Sorry and thinking of everyone. I'm a prat."

"Have fun but don't expect an immediate response. It's been over a year since she, no they, left, and she wasn't the happiest person at the time."

Ranma nodded.

 _ **Next morning, Tendo Residence, 8:30 AM**_

Ranma arrived as breakfast was being served and wound up having a second breakfast while Ling-Ling (now Rin Tendo) and Lung-Lung (Lum Tendo) were doing the 20-thousand-foot level of excitement as they were literally bouncing in place while trying to eat.

"So, who's going to take you to the school this morning for your exams and orientation?"

Both sets of eyes laser-ranged at him and smiles crept across their faces. Ranma slumped and then looked up at them, a smile twitching at his lips. "Okay, okay, I get the hint. Fortunately for you two and not for me, I have nothing on my schedule for the whole day. Kasumi, have you their lunches? I'll show them the route, past the high school and around the corner, right?"

Kasumi nodded and walked into the kitchen to get the bento boxes. "You also might want to check out the Hibiki house to see if anyone has been around lately and to check on Shirokuro and any of the remaining pups, though by now, they'd all be full-grown."

Ranma nodded as he sorted out the various items that the girls would be needing and making sure that their school bags were ready. "Last day for freebies like this. Starting Monday, you'll be responsible for having this all ready the night before so you can be ready to roll, not like your Aunt Akane grabbing a toast as she pelted out the door, or your Auntie Nibiki being a zombie until her second cup of coffee" he finished as he cast a look at Nibiki wondering down the stairs in search of her first cup of coffee. The twins stared at their first real view of their "cousin" in zombie mode. Kasumi reached out through the doorway and extended a mug of coffee that Nibiki grabbed and effectively swallowed in a series of gulps without even opening her eyes.

Realizing the regard of those seated at the table, the mug came down and her eyebrows raised as she went "What?" The twins and Ranma snickered, then stood and thanked Kasumi for breakfast, said hello to Nibiki and headed for the front door with bags going over shoulders and bento boxes swinging.

Turning down the street from the gate, they quickly reached the canal and Ranma had to physically restrain himself from leaping up on the chain link fence as in the old days with Akane, then realized that the twins were already up on the fence and were skipping along the top railing. Stopping and shielding his eyes from the possible sight, he coughed. The twins stopped and looked at him with wondering eyes.

He shrugged and then stepped over to where he could see their faces and not be implied as looking up their skirts. "First rule when going to school: no running along the fences unless you're wearing pants. Prevents giving the guys a freebie by just looking up."

The twins went "awww…" and jumped down and straightened their skirts. Lum moaned "these Japanese must be really conservative about this. After all, I am wearing my panties." Rin blushed and mumbled "speak for yourself…"

Ranma decided to ignore the implications of those remarks and started on, pointing out the landmarks and various alternate routes until they came to the gates of Furinakan High School and pointed out the notable items, plus the general directions to the Hibiki homestead, local restaurants and snack bars, plus the directions to Uyko's Place and the Nekohanten.

He then guided them to the next corner and up to the gates for the Furinakan Elementary School. Leading the way to the main doors of the school, he randgthe bell and waited, while the twins were generally taking in the sight lines afforded by the raised entranceway.

A young lady come to the doors and opened them. "Mr. Tendo?"

Ranma shook his head and then bowed. "Ranma Saotome. I should be down on the list of alternates for drop-off and pickup. I'm at loose ends today and got asppointed as designate parent-in-loco or something like that. So, what's the schedule for today?"

The yound lady checked her clipboard and nodded, then flipped up a picture of Ranma and then side-slipped it to show a picture of Ranko. "Your reputation precedes you, Mister Soatome. Come on in. Today, we'll be going through a series of general knowledge and language skills first, then into various math, history and geography questions to gauge the amount of remedial work needed since the girls have been raised out-of-country for most of their lives and we don't have any records from the schools in Joketsuzoku. These are not a contest or formal examination as you both will be going into the same class which is appropriate for your age. Depending upon your actual performance, we may shift you between classes but always within the same grade. Wakarimas?"

Both twins nodded and smiled. Ranma passed over their bento boxes wished them a good day, stating that he'd be in the area and available on his cellphone. Finishing off with a semi-stern warning to behave themselves "or else, no sundaes or desserts", he waved and headed off to the local ginza to spend the morning idling around before he had to head back to spend lunch with the twins.

Just as he entered the ginza, his cellphone went off and he pulled it out of his chi-pocketg and answered blindly. "I told you two to behave yourselves, it's been less than tin minutes since…. Uh, who is this?"

The voice chuckled. "Is it that bad with the twins, or have things really not changed since they were last here.?"

Ranma swtiched to "cool mode". "Actually, not seriously though they do try the occasional trick. Not sure if it is just them pushing the envelope as teenagers or being serious. However, aren't you being dangerous right now? After all, THEY could be monitoring my ohone and getting a line on you or is it the two of you?"

"Ah. That's the advantage of actually having spending money, not like a certain martial artist that I thought that I knew. You know that you made the news way way way outside of Nerima with that stunt. I'm calling from a random cheapie that I got at a convenience store, and I'll be scrapping it when I'm done. I'm nowhere near home while I'm making this call and I'm not going to be giving out any clues as to where I live."

"Reading way too many spy novels, I see" quipped Ranma. "Which describes things around here. Sure that the little darlings are quite aware of what is going on and they're not giving any clues as to whether we're running on Plan A or Plan B or just the regular old Nerima Wrecking Crew fly-and-fight-by-the-seat-of-our-pants techniques. Right now, they're supposed to be doing the placement exams while I kill time until lunch. Speaking of which, how have you been doing?"

"Don't laugh but I've been studying like crazy and really enjoying it. Sorry, no other clues but I'm happy doing it. What about you, aside from polishing all the police cars in Nerima weekly, teaching five classes and now playing uncle-pappa to the twins?"

Ranma chucked. "Staying away from all sorts of craziness and trying to figure out how to pay off for two new police cars on my own. I finished the courses for the academic portion of the coaching degree, now working on the practical and work-experience portion, and everyone's quite impressed, especially your Dad. He's so impressed that he's been looking over my textbooks and going over the dojo books to see it there are any missing ideas that he can apply. Looks like the old maxim applies: learn one, teach one…."

A sigh came over the phone. "Wish I could be there to see that…."

"Ah. Wait until the chaos ends, and sneak back for a visit. However, definitely not at the moment."

"True. Not at the moment."

"Yeah. Speaking of which, if someone is monitoring my calls, you'd better get going before they catch up to you."

"Yeah, It's been great to talk to you. Why didn't we do things like this long ago?"

"Not sure, probably as you had repeatedly said, we weren't ready, weren't grown up enough (a snicker came across the connection), and a whole range of chaos pushing us together and apart. And then, there was my cowardice in not putting my feelings on the line and actually taking a stand."

"Oh…. You HAVE grown up, though the your-weight-in-sake contest did set a new low…."

"THAT was Nibiki and Kodachi getting cunning all on their own, but still my responsibility since I carried it out."

"Just how much did he blab? Whenever we, er I, try to get him to fess up, he gets all embarrassed and clams up and gets all big-brotherly…"

"I asked a simple question about the two young ladies and he said that they were really nice and not THAT way and then tried to tell me that you two wouldn't appreciate having your names being bandied about like some of the dates that I'd gone on after you two had left. Except that he used your names. And that's when things went sideways when I used HIS line on HIMSELF and tried beating him down."

Snickering came from the other end of the call. "That sounds like a good spot to stop. Take care of the girls and I may call you again. Bye!"

And the line went dead.

Ranma looked at the phone and realized that he had tears trickling down over his smile.

"Bye," he whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Akane Hits the Big One, The Finale

Author's Notes: This story is now on its last legs. No, not because I'm running out of ideas, but I have actually come up with a suitable ending that won't take twenty chapters to line up the stars and characters and to get them all moving in the right direction. Yes, I have managed to herd cats.

 _ **Tendo Household, A month later; 5PM**_

Ranma looked across the dojo at the twins who were working hard a getting the latest toddler beginner exercise class, having them get into the crane position and then hopping from foot to foot while flapping their arms in sync with their hops. The sync was momentary and rapidly devolved into the cranes becoming so many crows. Going with the flow, the twins mutated the exercise into a murder of crows running around the dojo flapping and cawing then breaking into laughter. They looked at Ranma in apology and got a shrug and smirk in reply, which resulted in a return smile from both of them.

The murder rapidly went into gliding and then lined up and "landed" in the right position for the start of their lesson. "STUDENTS!" he called. The crows immediately straightened, assumed the short bow and went "HAI, SENPAI!" in sync. "This evening, we are going to teach you a new position and to complete your first kata as martial artists…."

In the course of the half hour, Ranma demonstrated the position and then got everyone into close proximity of having it, then got the class to name the positions and then to work their way through it, shouting the position at each step, then got them moving through the sequence individually with corrections and adjustments from Ranma and the twins. The group session finished with a demonstration for the parents that was remarkably in sequence and in rhythm.

"CLASS!" called Ramna.

"HAI, SENPAI!" came back the tired but enthusiastic response.

"Good lesson, everyone! You have completed your first kata, which will be the basis for everything else you will learn here and elsewhere! Answer me this: what is the duty of a martial artist?"

"Defend the weak, speak the truth, listen to Mom and Dad and our senpais, EAT OUR VEGETABLES!"

Ranma applauded the students. "Good! Great! Practice the kata at home and we'll see you next week!"

Ranma turned to find Genma scowling at him. "What?" he quipped at his father.

"You taught them that just to annoy me, didn't you."

"And your reaction encourages them. It's definitely miles ahead of 'the life of a martial artist is fraught with trouble and conflict.'"

Genma handed him a note. "This came from Cologne."

Ranma did a quick check on the envelope for signs of traps and then opened it.

Genma tried to read over his son's shoulder and got the literal cold shoulder. He backed off and went over to start up the next class. Ranma read the note and headed over to the twins.

"I'm going to have to go out this evening and help at the Nekohanten. SOMEONE managed to totally screw up the waiting schedule and can you ask Nibiki to see if she and Kodachi can help out?"

The twins nodded and seemed to gather themselves. "Ranma, c-c-c-could we help out? I, we, mean that we like Ku Long and she's always been nice to us back in Joketsuzoku."

Ranma shook his head, "Two reasons: it's a school night and you need to do your homework and get your sleep; second, this could be a ploy to get you isolated at the Nekohanten and use some of those Amazon potions on you while you're out of sight for a minute or two."

The twins shuddered and slumped their shoulders. "Hai, senpai. Be careful yourself, Ranma, and give our love to Ku Long," they said and then moved off to the entrance to the dojo and headed for the house.

Genma caught his eye and Ranma looked over to see his father use an old gesture from their decade long "training trip" - a watch out for traps gesture followed by a thumbs-up brefore he turned to his class and started following the lesson plan.

 _ **Six hours later at the Nekohanten**_

Ranma, wearing his tightest chongsam, dodged his way through the restaurant with a load of dirty dishes, which he quickly deposited in the intake area of the ktichen before he turned and caught the flying bowls of ramen to sprint with them into the sea of tables and depositing them on the appropriate tables, then sliding over to grab a cleaning cloth and collect yet another load of dirty dishes before swinging by the cash register to thank a customer for their patonage, take their payment, provide the change and a special coupon to apologize for the poor service for the evening. Nibiki and Gosunkugi looked up from trying to manage the flood of dirty and clean dishes in opposite directions and Ranma smiled at them and gave a quick thumbs-upand they nodded back.

Swinging back into maelstrom that was the restaurant on that evening, he saw Miss Hinako greeting the newest tableful of customers and Kodachi arriving with the menu for the day and to start the litany of the daily specials and seeing the obgligatory-for-tonight-special-discount coupons being proferred.

A growl came from the kitchen area as Colonge took note of the presence of another coupon as well as the stream of orders coming in. Ranma grabbed the appetizers and ramen bowls that were stacked there and distributed them to the waiting customers, offering apologies for the crowds that evening and making sure that glasses were filled, orders taken and customers kept jollied. In fact, most of the customers, even the wives, were relaxed and taking the chaos and clamour as being part of the entertainment for the evening, to the point that they cleared their tables quickly, making room for the next round of eaters.

Ranma stole a quick glance at the wall clock and did a quick mental juggle of the remaining time and the crowd of potential customers standing outside of the Nekohanten. He growled himself, and Cologne sailed a bowl of Ramen at him. "If you have time to look at the clock, you have time to serve. Table three, six and eight. Run, girl! Kodachi, orders for udon for tables one, three and nine, and be careful not to spill or drop any. Hinako, clear table two and get the next set down when you finish at the register. Gosunkugi! More bowls! Nabs! More rice and noodles!"

"It's Nibiki!" came the requisite response.

 _ **Half an hour past closing time at the Nekohanten**_

Cologne was doing the final wiped-down of the cooking surface while Ranma, Nibiki and Gosunkugi finished off the dishes and stacked things for the next day, The reamaining wait staff were scattered around the various tables and straightening things. Well, most of them were, but Miss Hinako was in her child form and was counting the day's take and portioning out the payments for everyone.

It was at this moment that the front door of the Nekohanten banged open and Mousse and the remaining Amazons stomped their way in, laughing and boisterous from the evening's drinking. Mousse walked over to the cash register, bumped Miss Hinako aside and then proceeded to pocket the complete day's take. "Sorry, but no one gets paid, and if anyone wants to discuss that, they can just talk to Big Annie over here…." indicating the massive Amazon female who cracked her knuckles repeatedly, obviously spoiling for a fight.

"Thought not," he smirked as he sidled over to inspect Ranko's ample bosum. "If you want to get paid for tonight, all you have to do is to tell us how to find Shampoo." At the glared silence, he shrugged and again went "thought not. By-the-by, there's another set of discount coupons out for tomorrow. How long do you think that you can carry on without money in the till to pay for groceries, for the free help? Another couple days and word will be out and you'll not have any customers who will drop by, which means that you'll have to fold up and come home to Joketsuzoku, and we can take over the Nekohanten and make it our stepping stone into Japan to chase down Shampoo and the other Ronin as you like to call the traitors."

"Of course, RANKO or RANMA, you can stop all of this. Give me Shampoo. Better yet, give me Shampoo and your body and I'll put back Cologne and the Ronin. Just one night in my bed….."

Ranma stepped back and started brigning up his fists when Colongne shook her head and he subsided.

Mousse again said "thought not, so you all will pay the price. Good night, don't forget to lock the doors. Don't want to have anything get stolen or vandalized, do we? See you tomorrow, Ku Long." The other Amazons laughed and pushed their way past the Nerima Wrecking Crew and up the back stairs to the apartments.

Ranma looked around at everyone. "Thanks for all your efforts, everyone. I don't know how I'll do it, but I'll cover your pay for tonight. But Mousse is right, we can't keep this up if they're running this as a regular effort rather than just a one-night item. Any ideas, anyone?"

Cologne was rummaging around under the counter when she stood up and pushed a small black package over to Nibiki, who enclosed it in her hand and then slipped it into her jeans pocket.

She walked over to Ranma, and hooked her arm into his and started tugging him towards the door. "Come on, dear, it's late and there is nothing more that we can do here tonight. We have to get home and go to our regular jobs tomorrow. Come on everyone, we can think of how we're going to respond tomorrow when we're fresh and rested."

Pushing Ranma out of the door, she looked back at Cologne. "Don't worry, Ranma always comes through in the end. I'll drop by tomorrow for lunch, Okay?"

"Yes, dearie. Thank you for all your efforts, everyone," as she hopped over and closed the door behind them and then pulled the blinds down and turned out the lights.

Ranma got about fifty feet down the road with everyone trailing after him before his tired brain actually fired off. "Nabs, what do you mean that I'll come through in the end like I always do?"

"That's Nibiki and you usually do, one way or the other. In this case, it's 'other'. Not martial arts but using your brains, or rather the brains around you. Now, no more talking or even thinking. Everyone, go home and we'll regroup tomorrow at Uyko's in the evening. Miss Hinako, you are barely hanging in there, you're coming home with us and I'll put you up in the twins room. "

Everyone nodded and started slipping away to their respective houses. Ranma scooped up Miss Hinako and started carrying her with her head resting on his shoulder. Nibiki followed along, consulting her phone before making a call and having a quiet conversation with whoever was on the other end of the call.

 _ **Next morning, Tendo Residence 7:30AM**_

The strident peal of an alarm clock jarred Ranma awake, where he found that he was on a futon with a weight spread across his front. Pulling the quilt aside, he found that he was still en femme and had Miss Hinako sprawled up his front with her head wedged between his breasts. He sighed and whispered, "thank goodness that there were lot of spare t-shirts kicking around here last night. Not sure how we got here . Come on, dear, time to get up."

Miss Hinako squirmed and rubbed her head against Ranma's 'pillows' and was gradually coming awake when the twins exploded out of their (or rather Akane's old) bed and tripped over them. They stood gobsmacked until Ranko glared at them and made head-gestures at the door while quietly trying to extract Miss Hinako from her current position. Both smirked and went "ta-ra!" while heading to the furo.

Finally getting Miss Hinako off of him and stumbling for the furo, she pulled herself up and headed down the stairs. Hearing the TV, she peeked around the corner to see Nabiki staring raptly at the set, watching the local news, all without massive quatities of coffee to bump-start her day.

 _"Our lead-off story today: Nerima. Elements of the Minato Police Services, Public Security Intelligence Agency, Department of Immigration and Border Protection, and_ _National Police Agency Security Bureau executed search and arrest warrants on a local restaurant, the Nekonaten. According to early sources, the charges involve_ _espionage,_ _theft of funds, illegal money laundering and transfers, threatening, illegal weapons, illegal entry into Japan, illegal residence in Japan, failure to register, and elder abuse._

 _Our reporter on the scene, Keiji Sakohara, has commented that he has been told that this was being planned for some time but events at the Nekohanten last night triggered a police investigation which then triggered the raid and arrests. Apparently, according to Keiji, yesterday's massive discount offering was the tipping point, and that the owner of the Nekohanten, known as Cologne, is not involved in the arrests but is actively cooperating with the various agencies in the investigation._

 _More details as they become available. Now, on to Kyoto and the mystery of the vanishing small black piglet..."_

Ranma started at the TV set and then at Nibiki, who turned from the TV set and stared back at him. She held up a finger and shook her head, then glanced behind him at the twins who were standing at the foot of the stairs.

Ranma sighed and said. "Do you two want to make a side-trip and see if Cologne needs any help?" Their heads moved slowly up and down as they sat and started getting ready for breakfast. Kasumi placed their teas in front of them and returned to the kitchen, stopped and turned around at the entrance.

"I don't think that we actually have anything to fear about your adoptions, we went through all the legal stuff with the Fukashimas and were really careful to make sure that we had filed everything to create the papertrail of you coming into the country through an airport, clearing customs and immigration properly, arriving in Nerima and staying with us and then being adopted so that you can go to school and be properly registered. The only thing that could impact the adoption is that if you lied at any point or you are actively involved in what is going on at the Nekohanten. In which case, be open and honest about it if you get asked any questions from the police or any of the other groups involved. Wakarimas?"

The twins nodded, gave a sideways glance with each other and then chimed softly, "wakarimas."

The departure for schools was verging on everyone being late, thanks to Miss Hinako behaving more like an eight-yea-old rather than the mature teacher that she was supposed to be, solved by a quick 5-yen drain of Ranma since he was the only one who did not have classes and could effectively blow off any other engagements for the day. That then resulted in trying to find adult clothing or non-lolicon clothing that didn't look like they'd been spray-painted. Nibiki solved that by diving into the collection of formal kimonos that had been left behind by Akane and the crane-themed uchikake with a different set of underpinnings wound up on Miss Hinako with dire warnings about the consequences of any food spills or youthening due to chi-blasts at delinquents. Ranma's reaction to the newly-resplendent Miss Hinako was to cock an eyebrow at Nibiki and muttering about some dire consequences for himself, then scooping her up in a bridal carry and dashing for the Nekohanten with the twins providing wingman service on any obstacles or random waterings and cattings.

 _ **Five minutes later, outside of the Nekohanten**_

Ranma slowed to a stop and deposited Miss Hinako on her feet just outside of the police tape with the twins practically hiding behind him while trying to take in everything. Police vehicles, military vehicles, fire trucks and ambulances were all clustered in front of the Nekohanten with police tap marking off the surrounding stores, alleyways and half of the street. Several paddywagons (military grade) were in the process of being stuffed with various Amazon residents of the Nekohanten as well as a large pet carrying-case with a highly indignant duck using what sounded like Mandarin obscenities, especially when it caught sight of Ranma and tried taking off in his direction, case, police and all. That situation was solved by someone the size of a very large sumo wrestler in SWAT attire, grabbing the case, stripping off the other police officers, smashing the case against one of the military-grade paddywagons, then against the ground and then firing it inside the back of another wagon. The only sound was that of pocket money changing hands in the surrounding civilian crowd at the straight-forward manner of securing a shape-shifting martial artist. The other police officers involved dusted themselves off and then saluted their rescuer.

"Ah, Saotome! Just the person that I was hoping to see!" came the quiet sound of Sargent Imia from beside him. Sighing, Ranma acknowledged the officer and asked if there was anything that he could do to help.

The sargent smiled and nodded. "Let me introduce Detective Sargent Masao Naito from the Public Security Intelligence Agency." The DS produced his warrant card and showed it to everyone, returned it to his pocket and then checked a clipboard and started making notes and tick-marks on the printed sheet.

"Ah, Mr. Saotome, Ranma or Ranko or Yoio Hibiki, depending upon circumstances. And this is the Tendo twins, Rin and Lum or rather Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, and the last member of your party is Hinako Ninomiya. Am I correct in this?" Ranma and Miss Hinako nodded. "Good! Now, I do not need to talk to you two right away due to the press of other events right now, but I've been given to understand from Cologne or Ku Long that you two were working at the Nekohanten last night. Correct?" The two nodded again. "Good," he said as he made some quick notes. "Is there anywhere we can meet in about three hours or so so that we can get your deposition on the events of last night, maybe lunch at Uyko's Place?" Both nodded again. "One last item, Ranma-san, can you please let everyone else know about this? It will be easier to do this there rather than at a police station."

With- that, the two bowed and headed back into the chaos of the investigation.

Rin tugged at his sleeve and pointed across at the back of an ambulance where a small person was quietly smoking a pipe while being interviewed by some other police officers. Cologne looked up and waved, a big cheesy grin spread across her face. The twins waved back and Cologne gave a quick thumbs-up.

"OK, Ranma-sama. We can go to school now," the twins sync-spoke.

As Ranma swept up Miss Hinako once again, and she slipped her arms round his neck, she whispered "Looks like we've been given our marching orders for the day. Better get us to our destinations before you poop out, Ranma-kun..."

 _ **Three hours later at Uyko's Place**_

Ranma strolled into Uyko's and waved at her and then looked at Konatsu. "Did Sargent Imai…"

Konatsu bowed and led the way to the back corner of the restaurant where the others were sitting, including the twins.

Ranma's right eyebrow tried climbing into his hairline as the girls regarded their hands on the table. Lung-Lung glared at her sister and said, "we have to let them know it all, sister. Remember what Kasumi told us: if we want to stay here in Japan, we have to be honest."

PSIA DS Naito looked up from his note-taking and asked, "does this mean that your adoption was a lie?"

Both twins shook their heads. "No, Naito-sama. That was all true. So was what happened in the village where we were told to spy on the Tendos and find out where Akari and Shampoo had gone and to report what we found out to Mousse and the other Amazons so they could capture the two and take them to Joketsuzoku and then force them to run the gauntlet and then give them to Mousse.

Naito was holding up a finger to indicate that they should hold while he scribbled frantically, then circled the finger to indicate for them to continue on.

Lung-Lung drew a deep breath and then took a quick look at her sister, who nodded back. "When we were packing everything to come here, Mother came into our room and stuffed a package into one of my suitcases and then whispered to us what we needed to do and say as soon as we arrived in the country, something that we decided not to do at the time as we wanted to see Ranma and everyone else, and they all started to take care of us and then brought us into the Tendo family and then sent us to school, and all. We need to say this now so that you know everything…."

Looking at her sister, they both stood and stepped away from the table to stand in the aisle and faced Sargent Aima and DS Naito. "Please, sirs. We wish to claim refugee status and claim political asylum. We wish to cooperate fully with authorities in validating our claim. We have fled an authoritarian regime and face imprisonment or death should we return. We have been sent to act as spies and to cause the abduction of at least one Japanese citizen to be taken out of the country and made subject to torture and death. We came with evidence to substantiate our claim."

Naito finished taking their dictation and then sat back and considered the notes that he'd just taken. He put his pencil down on top of the notes, folded his hands and looked at the twins silently.

"I cannot make a decision on this without consulting my superiors. I will bring this to their attention as soon as I get back to the office. Certainly, if you had made this claim when you arrived, odds are that today's actions would have taken place shortly after your arrival rather than months later. However, your mother left the final decision to telling us up to you. So you cannot be faulted for delaying that event. From what I've heard, you two have been exemplary young adults, very much at odds with your fellow Amazons. Now, you mentioned evidence, where can I get my hands on that package that your mother had hidden in your luggage?"

Ling-Ling lifted her hand. "In my largest case, the one with the knife marks on the outside. Ranma, can you ask the ninjas to bring the case?"

Kodachi lifted her hand. "Sasuke, can you spread the word and get the case back as soon as possible? I think that Agent Naito would like to have everything untouched."

Sasuke nodded then jumped down and headed out the doorway.

Lung-Lung looked at the Agent. "waht do we do in the meantime?"

Agent Naito smiled. "Simple, relax. You have done your duty and are surrounded by family and friends. If there are any more questions or papers that need to be completed, I know where to go. Live your life as it should be lived."

 _ **Kyoto, four months later**_

Standing at the edge of the deck at Kiyomizu-dera, Ranma leaned on the railing and started taking pictures of the school class below him.

"Are you sure that you're not some sort of pervert, taking pictures of schoolgirls when they don't pay attention," came the quiet words from behind him.

He carefully put the camera down and then turned to face the person behind him. He found himself looking into the face of a maiko, in full makeup and kimono, with a slight cheesy smile and looking up at his face.

"Ah," he smiled back."It may look that way, but no, sorry, I long outgrew my being a pervert. I leave that to my grand master, Happosai, who seems to have created an entire martial arts skill wrapped around it."

Her head tilted over just a bit as she regarded him and she smiled coquettishly. "So, you are a big strong martial artist. What school?"

He nodded and made a bow. "Ranma Saotome, Nerima, Anything Goes School of Indescriminate Grappling."

"My! What a pompous sounding name. Are you sure that you can beat me?"

Ranma took a hard look at her and then skimmed her up and down. "Pardon my familiarity but could you show me your hands?"

"And may I ask why, since I would be putting myself at your mercy?"

He nodded. "A wise precaution. Here, I'll put my hands in my pockets and you can stand back a bit and I'll look at them from here."

Ranma put his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the railing while she stepped back three long strides and then held up her hands.

Ranma squinted. "I can see that you've been trained in playing koto, shamsen and kiwa." He looked at her face. "Ah, you also play the shakuhachi but that is for your own pleasure rather than for your training, fewer marks. Tea ceremony martial arts, rhythmic gymnastics martial arts but you have trouble with the ribbon, archery, katana, tanto, jiu-jitsu, some judo, karate, lots of other styles to even out the generation of callouses, pistols and truncheons and most recently chop sticks and parfait spoons."

She quirked her eyebrows. "And you told me all that by looking at my hands, especially the last bit?"

He shook his head. "The pattern of callouses is unique for each discipline and they imply multiple skills. Plus food stains, splashes and bits of rice where they wouldn't normally be. Not enough to ruin your clothes but enough to see if you know what you're looking for. You did enjoy your lunch today, but you need to watch out for stray rice in your hair."

"And I suppose that this will impress me to no end, making it easy for you to have your vile way with me?"

He laughed. "No, not really. However, getting back to your original question, yes. Hard won but yes."

"You do have a high opinion of yourself, don't you?"

Ranma nodded. "So, I've been told by multiple people and at regular intervals, even by a few gods or at least THEY claimed that they were gods."

The maiko laughed. "And you beat them, too?"

"In the end, which may prove that they were not gods. However, I don't make a habit NOW of answering every challenge with a fight."

"And those young ladies that you were so interested in?"

"Well, two of them are adopted daughters of one of my masters and my responsibility today. Today is a special treat for their class as they all passed their exams and completed their summer homework. Something tells me that they are developing the 'Martial Arts School of Studying and Homework.' And the reason that I am up here is that I'm afraid of them - they appear to have this belief that they have marriage rights on me, thanks to their older sister."

The maiko giggled. "Come on! They cannot be THAT bad."

"Unfortunately, they CAN. The fortunate bit is that aren't serious about it, often. Before you get feeling all superior, they have been asking questions about maikos, so you might want to get away before they figure out who I am talking to and make some really wrong assumptions."

"Raaaaaanma! Have you been talking to strange maikos again?" came the tones from two young ladies who were now standing in the corner of the verandah.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I did warn you. If you have to fight them, watch out, they like to double-team with contrary attack styles…."

"Hey, Ranma! That's not fair. You're telling her how to beat us." Coming over, they bowed to the maiko and introduced themselves.

The maiko smiled and responded. "I am very pleased to meet you, my name is …. Kitten."


End file.
